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List: How the City Plans to Improve Dolores Park 

Wednesday, Sep 7 2011
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The city is planning to spend over $7 million to upgradeDolores Park. How could the iconic park be improved?

• Sell pot concessions

• Post safety tips to reduce hula-hoop injuries

• Attract more tourists to stare and point at real live San Franciscans

• Generate twice as much positive energy per square foot

• Return it to the '60s where itbelongs

• Show movies there at night that only hipsters will enjoy

• Make it illegal to sit or lie there

• Make technical changes so, when danger strikes, Dolores can combine with five other city parks to form Park Voltron: Defender of San Francisco

• More paganism

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Benjamin Wachs

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