List: What Fewer School Buses, More Kids on Muni Means

Because the San Francisco School District has severely reduced the number of school buses, many more children will now be going to and from school on Muni. What impact will this have?

• Kids will first learn about sex from a man in a trench coat on the L-Taraval

• Fifth-graders who want to get a teacher's attention will shout "Back Door!"

• A generation of San Franciscans will forever associate reading with the smell of urine

• School will begin promptly every morning at 8:05 ... 8:15 ... 8:45 ...

• The elderly will never get to sit down again

• A legion of emotionally crippled San Franciscans will be forced to set a good example twice a day

• Bus drivers are going to have to drink so much more to numb the pain

• Teenage drug dealers will finally have regular access to the depressed souls on the 30-Stockton

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Dear Mr. Wachs:

Your paranoia does not impress or amuse us.

Signed, the rest of the world

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