List: Why We Should Believe that PG&E Won't Kill Us All

PG&E is reassuring state lawmakers that its new natural gas project really will be safe. Why should we believe them?

• Because they haven't killed a customer in, like, months

• They know where you live

• PG&E hired Willie Brown, so suck it

• Ed Lee says it's a great company, and Ed Lee would never lie to you

• The brochure is extra glossy

• They've hired an intern to make sure nobody gets blown up

• If we're not gouged for energy, the terrorists have won

• We don't have to trust them, we just have to keep coming back for more