"The Thing": Effective if Witless Remake of Horror Classic

Details

Rated R. Opens Friday at San Francisco theaters.

Related Content

• M83: Show Preview
  November 9, 2011
• Early Summer Movie Guide: What to See, When to See It
  May 18, 2011
• Arthouse Movie Listings May 2-8, 2012
  May 2, 2012
• "Attack the Block": Pitch-Perfect Sci-Fi Indie Is a Summer Delight
  July 27, 2011
• Arthouse Movie Listings May 23-29, 2012
  May 23, 2012

More About

• John Carpenter
• Kurt Russell
• The Thing (2011)
• Matthijs van Heijningen
• Mary Elizabeth Winstead

Like this Story?

Sign up for the Events Newsletter: What's happening in town? From underground club nights to the biggest outdoor festivals, our top picks for the week's best events will always keep you in on the action.

Privacy Policy Cancel Continue

John Carpenter should approve of this reasonably respectful and tough-minded prequel to his 1982 The Thing. There in Antarctica, you'll recall, Kurt Russell and company encountered an alien with infectious/shape-shifting powers, making all parties justifiably paranoid about who was human and who was hidden monster. This time around, we're at the Norwegian base where the frozen — but not quite dead — beast is first discovered. Young American scientist Kate Lloyd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) helps dissect the 100,000-year-old ice mummy. That is, of course, a bad idea, and the carnage begins about 20 minutes in. Mr. Thing has a crabby carapace and pincers, and he employs the same sprouting tentacles to spear, suck, and genetically graft himself onto his prey (aided considerably by CGI). But though he's smart enough to pilot the giant flying saucer, he's only slightly more cunning than the two dozen disposable bearded Norwegians (Lars, Sven, whatever) chasing through the snowy night. Sharing a producer with the '82 version, this Thing is capably helmed by a Dutch director of TV spots, Matthijs van Heijningen Jr., who matches the look and period feel of Carpenter's thriller (one character brandishes a slide rule), and brings the same blue-collar sensibility (bosses suck). But as written by Eric Heisserer (Final Destination 5), the new Thing lacks much wit or self-awareness; it's more of a "final girl" formula film, but on ice. Still, why did it take 29 years to create this solid double-feature? And will they unfreeze Russell for a trilogy?