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"Audium 9": Spatial electronic orchestrations and sound sculptures. Early arrival is advised. Fridays, Saturdays, 8:30 p.m. $20. Audium-Theatre of Sound-Sculptured Space, 1616 Bush, 771-1616.

Beach Blanket Babylon: Steve Silver's musical revue spoofs pop culture with extravagant costumes. Wednesdays-Sundays. $25-$130. Club Fugazi, 678 Green, 421-4222.

Bells Are Ringing: The SFArtsED Players (a theater company for kids ages 9-14) present a classic Broadway musical. Fridays-Sundays. Through March 3. $15-$22. Eureka Theatre Company, 215 Jackson, 788-7469.

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Big City Improv: Actors take audience suggestions and create comedy from nothing. Fridays, 10 p.m. $15-$20. Shelton Theater, 533 Sutter, 433-3040.

The Business: A Comedy Show: Sketch and stand-up comedy. Wednesdays, 8 p.m. $5. Dark Room Theater, 2263 Mission, 401-7987.

The Chairs: An elderly couple pass the time in an abandoned seaside building, playing private games and telling each other half-remembered stories. Starting March 1. Thursdays-Sundays. Through March 31. $20-$45. The Cutting Ball Theater, 277 Taylor, 525-1205.

Clown Cabaret: Pi: the Physical Comedy Troupe and the Clown Conservatory perform circus arts. First Monday of every month. Climate Theater, 285 Ninth St., 673-1374.

Dead Metaphor: A dark comedy about a soldier returning from the Middle East to find work. Starting Feb. 28. Tuesdays-Sundays. Through March 17. $30-$110. American Conservatory Theater (A.C.T.), 415 Geary, 749-2228.

A Delicate Balance: Edward Albee's play about American famililal dysfunction. Directed by Keith Phillips. Wednesdays-Saturdays, 7:30 p.m. Through March 16. $26-$38. Actors Theatre San Francisco, 855 Bush, 345-1287.

Foodies! The Musical: A musical comedy revue of songs and sketches about food that takes a humorous look at the current food scene. Fridays, Saturdays, 8 p.m. $34. Shelton Theater, 533 Sutter, 433-3040.

Genie: A Touch of Magic: A Bollywood adaptation of the story of Aladdin. March 2-3, 1 & 6 p.m. $27-$50. ODC Theater, 3153 17th St., 863-6606.

God of Carnage: Two upper-middle-class Brooklyn couples meet to discuss an incident of playground violence between their sons. Directed by Catherine Castellanos. Thursdays-Saturdays, 8 p.m. Through March 30. $38. Shelton Theater, 533 Sutter, 433-3040.

Jurassic Ark: A dark comedy about faith, pet dinosaurs, The Great Flood, and Hollywood. Fridays, Saturdays, 8 p.m. Through March 16. $10-$25. Exit Theatre, 156 Eddy, 673-3847.

The Lisbon Traviata: Mendy is on a quest for a very special recording of Maria Callas while his friend Stephen, a depressed literary editor and opera fanatic, is on the verge of losing his lover to a younger student. Wednesdays-Sundays. Through March 24. $25-$45. New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness, 861-8972.

Meow Mix: A weekly cabaret show hosted by Ferosha Titties, with rotating co-hosts and DJs. Tuesdays, 11 p.m. $3-$5. The Stud, 399 Ninth St., 863-6623.

Monday Night Marsh: Musicians, actors, performance artists, and others take the stage at this regular staging of works in progress. Mondays. $7. The Marsh Theater, 1062 Valencia, 826-5750.

The Motherf**ker with the Hat: Jackie and Veronica have been in love since the eighth grade. Nothing can come between them. Except a hat. Written by Stephen Adly Guirgis. Directed by Bill English. Fridays, Saturdays, 8 p.m.; Tuesdays-Thursdays, 7 p.m.; Saturdays, 3 p.m. Through March 16. $25-$60. Post Street Theatre, 450 Post, 321-2910.

Our Practical Heaven: Addresses the changing tides of communication, gender roles, and society against the notions of home and family. Wednesdays-Saturdays, 8 p.m.; Sundays, 2 & 7 p.m. Through March 3. $32-$60. Aurora Theatre Company, 2081 Addison, Berkeley, (510) 843-4822.

Pageant: The Musical!: A drag musical about the world of beauty contests. Starting Feb. 28. Thursdays-Saturdays, 8 p.m. Through March 9. $25. Victoria Theatre, 2961 16th St., 863-7576.

Secret Improv Society: Underground improvisational theater. Saturdays, 10 p.m. $15. Shelton Theater, 533 Sutter, 433-3040.

Sex and the City: Live!: A drag rendition of the HBO series . Wednesdays, 7 & 9 p.m. $20-$25. Rebel, 1760 Market, 431-4202.

Shopping! The Musical: Songs and sketches about shopping. Fridays, Saturdays, 8 p.m. $23-$29. Shelton Theater, 533 Sutter, 433-3040.

Some Thing: Art drag night with craft table. Fridays. $5. The Stud, 399 Ninth St., 863-6623.

Steve Seabrook: Better Than You: A one-man comedic show with a self-help theme, written and performed by Kurt Bodden. Fridays, Saturdays. Through March 30. $15-$35. The Marsh Theater, 1062 Valencia, 826-5750.

Tony 'n' Tina's Wedding: Saturdays, 7 p.m.; Fridays, 7 p.m. $88.50-$115.50. Imperial Palace, 818 Washington, 956-9888.

Turmoils at Professor Ming's Mansion: A musical production in Cantonese and English that follows the story of spoiled rich girl Golden Pearl and orphan White Peony. Saturdays and Sundays, 2 p.m. Through March 16. Buddha's Universal Church, 720 Washington, 982-6116.

The Voice: One Man's Journey Into Sex Addiction and Recovery: David Kleinberg's solo theater piece on sex addiction and recovery. Sun., March 3, 7 p.m.; Tue., March 5, 8 p.m.; Fridays, Saturdays. Through April 6. $10. Stage Werx 446, 446 Valencia.

The Waiting Period: A solo show by Brian Copeland about the waiting period after purchasing a gun. Starting March 1. Fridays, Saturdays; March 29-30. Through March 16. $25-$35. The Marsh Theater, 1062 Valencia, 826-5750.

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