The Snatch: The Smallest News Items Allowed by Law

Boobs in Space

"Go Topless Day," an annual media stunt taking advantage of everyone's fascination with the female chest, is in fact a public relations ploy for a bizarre UFO cult devoted to building an intergalactic Jerusalem "embassy" in preparation for the return of the space aliens that spawned the human race. The website pitching the breast fest this past Sunday at Dolores Park (and 48 other spots worldwide) doesn't have a convenient "about us" feature to peruse. Rael — Claude Vorilhan — is the Frenchman who claims that chance '73 encounter at a volcano park with a human being from outer space spurred him to "give up his much loved career as a sports-car journalist and devote himself fully to the task assigned to him by Yahweh — the extra-terrestrial whom he met." This mission: serve as the prophet preparing "the population to welcome their Creators, the Elohim, without any mysticism or fear, but as conscious and grateful human beings." The topless at Delores Park seemed conscious and grateful, but seemed more generally secular and earthy, rather than spacey.

Hit-and-Run-and-Swim-and-Bike

On Aug. 14, 35-year-old Meredith Kessler, a Bay Area triathlete and Ironman champ, turned herself in to the cops and was arrested on suspicion of felony hit-and-run. Police say Kessler plowed into a 53-year-old man as he walked through a crosswalk four months ago. Kessler allegedly stopped the car, checked on the victim, then left him at the scene. She later told investigators that she was running late to get to the airport and assumed the victim was in good care. She also said she only stopped the car thinking the man had had a heart attack — not because she had hit him. The victim was taken to San Francisco General where he was treated (and recovered) from a brain injury. Meanwhile, Kessler was reportedly off winning medals. On June 9, she was competing in Cambridge, Md., and in the lead until she collided with another athlete and suffered a severe concussion. The other runner did not flee the scene.

For more news, go to blogs.sfweekly.com/thesnitch.

 
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