Invited to the Right Parties with Nothing to Wear

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When curious journalists first began inquiring about the two four-story tugs docked off the coast of Treasure Island and Portland, Maine, representatives of Google and various government agencies brushed off their questions. Nonetheless, anonymous sources managed to push two unlikely but somehow enticing explanations: Either Google had created two separate floating data centers, as evidenced by a patent it procured four years ago, or Google wanted to dock the barge at Fort Mason and convert it into a Google Glass retail store — a plan stymied by coastal permit protocols. But neither is true: It's a party boat. According to KPIX 5, three floors of each Google barge will serve as showrooms for high-tech gadgetry, while the upper deck will include bars and open verandas where the company's VIP guests can sip cocktails. It all seems like a rather anticlimactic denouement, especially in light of reports that the party boat is really a gauntlet thrown at Apple. Unless, of course, there's a secret underneath.

Jacket Job

You know how the cops are always telling residents not to leave stuff inside their cars so they don't tempt criminal opportunists? Well, they're speaking from experience. Of all the people to become a victim of a crime, Police Chief Greg Suhr reportedly confessed at a Town Hall meeting last week that his car was recently broken into. The crime happened a few weeks ago in front of the chief's home in his lovely Golden Gate Heights hamlet. The thief — presumably unaware of who he was victimizing — busted into the car and stole a jacket. Which begs the question: Why doesn't the chief practice what he preaches? Suhr used this personal story as a chance to remind everyone that crime can happen to even the most unlikely of people. "I'm not immune," he admitted. Suhr noted the burglary case remains unsolved, but if you see anyone walking around town wearing the chief's swanky jacket, you know who to call.

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