The Snatch: Somewhere Comfortable to Park Your Ass

Apple's Vocabulary Lesson

Most English dictionaries bear five definitions of the word "gay," the last of which is deemed disparaging and offensive: "awkward, stupid, bad, lame." Massachusetts 15-year-old Becca Gorman can't scrub the definition out of existence, but she hopes to keep Apple from using it. In the dictionary application on its MacBook Pro computer, Apple features three meanings of gay, the third of which is "informal." Deployed as slang, "gay" applies to anything "foolish" or "stupid." A horrified Gorman penned a letter to the company's openly gay CEO, Tim Cook, pointing out that Apple doesn't include a similarly jeering definition for the term "retarded." Apple responded to Gorman, explaining that it feeds its dictionary from four sources, one of which sullied the gay entry. Marketing executive Brian Miller promised the company would try to cut the offending definition.

Sitting on Money

If you've got more dollars than sense — or, arguably, taste — the San Francisco 49ers have a deal for you. For the low, low price of just $649, you can be the proud owner of a pair of Candlestick Park stadium seats. The auctioning off of paraphernalia prior to a stadium's demise is a tried and true method of extracting surplus dollars from nostalgic fans. But how much would these much-worn plastic seats, done up in a Caltrans orange specially designed to match nothing, be worth without the nostalgia factor? Less. Lots less. These familiarly Cheetos-hued stadium seats run a mere $10 a pop — though, yes, the minimum order is 50. But if seats you want, seats you can have — up to 800,000 a month can be sent steaming your way from either Shanghai or Ningbo. Granted, those don't fold like the seats at the 'Stick. But, it turns out, variants of Candlestick-like folding seats are even cheaper. These go for $3 to $6 a unit. Yeah, you've got to order at least 3,000 to get that price — but the good people of Jiangsu gotta pay the bills, too.

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