Email Author Alan Scherstuhl

Awards

• 2009 - Kansas City Press Club Heart of America Awards, published April 3, 2008

  "The Best Story of the Year"

• 2009 - Kansas City Press Club Heart of America Awards, published April 24, 2008

  "Desert Storm"

• 2009 - Kansas City Press Club Heart of America Awards, published September 11, 2008

  "Water Logged"

• 2009 - Kansas City Press Club Heart of America Awards, published November 13, 2008

  "What's At Stake"

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2011 Stories by Alan Scherstuhl

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  FEATURED STORY

  51 Reasons California Is America's Best State

  published Aug 31, 2011

  First, Gawker started counting down the worst American states in order. (California ranked #46.) Then the good folks at SF Weekly's sister papers in Minnesota (#45) and Texas (#13) took issue with t... More >>

• Friday: Art Brut Thanks Tapes 'n Tapes for Being Able to Fill the Independent

  published Aug 29, 2011

  Tapes 'n TapesArt BrutThe Chain Gang of 1974The IndependentTo resort to the old say-nothing dodge that got me through all high-school term-paper writing, Friday night at the Independent was a study ... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Godawful Coloring Book Roundup, Starring Hook, The Dukes of Hazzard, and Gerald Ford

  published Aug 26, 2011

  Each Friday, your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from Golden State basements, thrift stores, estate sales, and flea markets. Back in the early 1990s, yo... More >>

• Bank of America Hosts Finance Camp for Kids as It Lays off Thousands

  published Aug 25, 2011

  The multinational plutocrat kabillionaires at Bank of America have taken a break from laying off everyone ever and pledging mysterious "help" to the presidential campaign of Rick Perry, the famous Geo... More >>

• Brian Henson's Stuffed and Unstrung: The Funny, Dirty Improv Puppet Show That's Absolutely Not Muppet-Related

  published Aug 22, 2011

  Stuffed and Unstrung Through August 27 at the Curran Theatre, 445 Geary, S.F. Improv comedy, of course, is all about the now. But it's no insult to say that the most arresting moments of Stuffed and... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Thrust & Plunge: The Lusty Game You Can Play with Romance Novels

  published Aug 19, 2011

  Each Friday, your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from Golden State basements, thrift stores, estate sales, and flea markets. Year ago, slogging through ... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Amazing 1950s Illustrations of American Cities Destroyed by A-Bombs

  published Aug 17, 2011

  Your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from Golden State thrift stores, estate sales, and flea markets. Pageant Magazine Date: February, 1951 Discovered... More >>

• Jeff Adachi Explains His Last-Minute Entry into the Mayor's Race

  published Aug 12, 2011

  "Did I make it on timer  Who do I make my check out tor" Jeff Adachi asked the department of elections clerk at about 4:15 p.m. today. Adachi had come to the department to submit the si... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Converting to Islam Is an Important Step in Any Divorce Trial, & Other Absurd Advice From The Anti-Rules

  published Aug 12, 2011

  Each Friday, your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from Golden State basements, thrift stores, estate sales, and flea markets. The Anti-Rules Author: B... More >>

• George Lopez, We Would Feel Worse for You if You Didn't Come to San Francisco and Make Dumb Gay Sex Jokes

  published Aug 11, 2011

  In a complete reversal of what Tea Party types believe happens in American life, a white person's willingness to work cheap has cost a Latino a job. A year after Conan O'Brien turned up on TBS, poor G... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Merle Haggard vs. San Francisco: Five Songs in Which Country's Best Works Through His Issues with the Bay

  published Aug 11, 2011

  Merle Haggard may contain multitudes, but he tends to feel just one of those multitudinous things at a time -- and to feel it so hard and pure that he seems to have forgotten all the previous things h... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Toby Keith at Shoreline Ampitheatre: The Sound of America Hulking Out

  published Aug 08, 2011

  Toby Keith Eric Church Shoreline Ampitheatre August 5, 2011 "Never apologize for being patriotic!" Toby Keith calls as he gladhands soldiers in full desert camo, as his pyrotechnicians light up the ... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Teen Angels: The Forgotten Young Adult Novels That Say Suicide Leads to Romance and BFFs in "Teen Heaven"

  published Aug 05, 2011

  Each Friday, your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from Golden State basements, thrift stores, estate sales, and flea markets. Teen Angels #2: Love Never ... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Maria Bamford Heckles Herself at the Punch Line

  published Aug 05, 2011

  Onstage, Maria Bamford speaks for hecklers. "How can she be a comedianr" she demands in one of the dozens of pinched, panicky voices that seem to possess her. "You don't have any jokes!" Joke or not,... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  John Boehner Street Art Is Part Hairspray, Part Silence of the Lambs

  published Aug 03, 2011

  Last night at 18th and Valencia streets we spotted this thoughtful critique of House Speaker John Boehner. His dialogue comes from the Buffalo Bill character in Silence of the Lambs. It's fun to wor... More >>

• Five Reasons to Be Excited About the New Mixed-Race Spider-Man

  published Aug 02, 2011

  Because Donald Glover said some things on Twitter one time, and because it's about damn time, Spider-Man is no longer white. Well, one version of Spider-Man. The switcheroo goes down first in Ultimat... More >>

• In 1967, You Could Teach "Sexual Lovemaking" Only with Pictures of Puppets Doing It

  published Aug 02, 2011

  Your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from Golden State thrift stores, estate sales, and flea markets. The Art of Sexual Lovemaking, Including a Photogra... More >>

• Nine They Might Be Giants Songs That Should Be Heard by People Who Think They Don't Like They Might Be Giants

  published Jul 29, 2011

  With the release last week of Join Us, their first album for grownups in four years, They Might Be Giants has managed something that few pop musicians ever pull off: still creating music of the type a... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Animals Dressed as People Roundup: Crazy Old Photos of Zippy the Chimp and Scalawag the Monkey

  published Jul 29, 2011

  Each Friday, your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from Golden State basements, thrift stores, estate sales, and flea markets. Zippy Goes to School: A Rea... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Jack Kirby's Fighting American: The Gloriously Weird Adventures of a Captain America Wannabe

  published Jul 28, 2011

  "You put the head of one guy on another guy, and you have a new character," explains Joe Simon in the introduction to Titan Books' square-jawed, two-fisted, batshit crazy collection of the complete F... More >>

• The Greatest, Most Racist Generation: 1952 Magazine Feature Says "Wetbacks" 20+ Times

  published Jul 26, 2011

  Your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from Golden State thrift stores, estate sales, and flea markets. People Today Date: 1952 Publisher: Hillman Per... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Comic-Con Photos: Captain America and Futurama Toys, Plus the Solution to the Game of Thrones' Dire Wolf Problem

  published Jul 22, 2011

  That gentle popping you hear is the arrival -- via pneumatic tube -- of another batch of Gil Riego Jr.'s top-shelf Comic-Con shots. This time, Riego has documented the convention's galaxy of new toys,... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Four Comic Books No Kids Would Ever Want, Including "Kool-Aid Man in Space" and "Archie's Holocaust"

  published Jul 22, 2011

  Each Friday, your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from Golden State thrift stores, estate sales, and flea markets. The Adventures of Kool-Aid Man Date... More >>

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  Comic-Con Photos: Battle Bears, Spider-Man, and a Smurf You Could See From Space

  published Jul 21, 2011

  Like eleventy kabillion other intrepid souls, photographer Gil Riego Jr., has dared this week to journey to the heart of the geek-industrial complex: Comic-Con, that infinite multiverse of multimedia,... More >>

• Exclusive: Rebecca Black's Secret Debut CD Tracklist!

  published Jul 18, 2011

  In her brand-new single "My Moment," YouTube superstar Rebecca Black continues her great artistic project: applying the stream-of-consciousness narrative mode to pop-songs built for kickin' it in the ... More >>