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2004 Stories by Katy St. Clair

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  • Kaada & Patton

    published December 29, 2004

    The thing about so-called "improvisational" musicians is that, sooner or later, everything they do begins to sound the same. Vocalist Mike Patton,... More >>

  • Bouncer

    published December 29, 2004

    So my day job is working with developmentally disabled adults, getting them out into the community, getting them jobs, getting them some... More >>

  • Bouncer

    published December 22, 2004

    The best show on TV isn't Desperate Housewives or Lost. Nope, the best show on TV -- which also happens to have the worst name -- is... More >>

  • Bouncer

    published December 15, 2004

    The best part of the city to be in when it's raining is the Lower Haight. You feel like you are in Janis Joplin's brain: Psychedelic splashes... More >>

  • Bouncer

    published December 8, 2004

    There are a couple of things that bug me about the Hooters catchphrase, printed on the back of the tank tops that the babes wear. It reads,... More >>

  • Bouncer

    published December 1, 2004

    There really is nothing crazier in tha clubz than the Tuesday night before Thanksgiving. All across the city, everyone lines up for a Mojito on a... More >>

  • Bouncer

    published November 24, 2004

    We were debating whether or not she was Paris Hilton. She was long and thin with a neat ponytail down her back and a brimmed hat pulled rakishly... More >>

  • Bouncer

    published November 17, 2004

    As Johnny Ramone lay dying, he was surrounded by his closest friends: Eddie Vedder, Vincent Gallo, and Lisa Marie Presley. Gazing up in his... More >>

  • Bouncer

    published November 10, 2004

    Greetings, Cultural Elite. Please give me your undivided attention. That's right, put down the Anchor Steam and close that New Yorker. It's... More >>

  • Bouncer

    published November 3, 2004

    Let's start at the end and move backwards. The night was drawing to a close, and I was at the end of the bar at Lefty O'Douls in Union Square.... More >>

  • Bouncer

    published October 27, 2004

    One big misconception of comets, the solar variety, is that they are made of fiery gas. Actually, comets are composed mainly of ice. Another... More >>

  • Bouncer

    published October 20, 2004

    The Onion has a joke that replays again and again in my head whenever I get into my car. It's a list, in essence, of what we all will... More >>

  • Bouncer

    published October 13, 2004

    I remember a few scattered things about my one and only trip to Las Vegas in July of 1997. First, the heat was more stifling than three Baby... More >>

  • Bouncer

    published October 6, 2004

    "Nope, didn't see it," said a 20-year-old guy from S.F. State about the presidential debate last Thursday. "But I'm voting for Kerry no matter... More >>

  • Bouncer

    published September 29, 2004

    There are few things as hopeful and jaunty as a new club. The owners have decorated it just so, the staff has been carefully chosen based on... More >>

  • Bouncer

    published September 22, 2004

    Mount Everest stands like a colossal ice cream sundae jutting out of Tibet, its surface sprinkled with all the nuts who perished in their attempt... More >>

  • Bouncer

    published September 15, 2004

    "Ah doper deal?" "Excuse me?" I replied. "Ah doper deal?!" returned the woman in an accusatory tone. She was expertly coiffed, fully... More >>

  • Bouncer

    published September 8, 2004

    If you ever look closely at a goat you will notice two things. First, it has very wide-set eyes, like a dinosaur. Second, those eyes are usually... More >>

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