Email Author Katy St. Clair

2008 Stories by Katy St. Clair

• Pretzels and Cheddar Goldfish: The cosmos' quarry

  published August 13, 2008

  I recently got me one of them tomes I like to call "brainy bachelor bathroom books." It's one of the sort you can find dog-eared on the back of... More >>

• Finding better ways to fail at Molotov's

  published August 6, 2008

  I lost my job a month ago, and have been doing a big fat zip ever since. Actually, that's not entirely true: I've been applying for gigs and... More >>

• We Try Harder to Abide

  published July 30, 2008

  "You've seriously only ridden BART once?" my friend asked me as we boarded. "Seriously?" "Yep," I replied. I suppose this was a fib. I... More >>

• The Prowler, the Skinhead, and the Holy Ghost

  published July 23, 2008

  I got someone sent to prison this week. When all was said and done, I felt really sad about it. That night I cried for the young man, who... More >>

• Ms. Most Likely to Suck Ten Cocks

  published July 16, 2008

  Boy, the Marina sure does get a lot of crap. It's the whippin' boy of S.F., full of people we look down our noses at and see as one big... More >>

• Drinking with the Grim Reaper

  published July 9, 2008

  "It's not good," my friend Fred says flatly. "They found a tumor in my head." The tumor sits on his pituitary gland and is about a millimeter... More >>

• Picking through a relationship's ruins

  published July 2, 2008

  Whenever the question arises, "If you could have any superpower, what would it be?"— and for some inane reason this question comes up a... More >>

• Double D's: depression and dickheads

  published June 25, 2008

  The more astute readers out there may have noticed that I tend to be, er, a bit depressive. I think one of my friends put it best when he said... More >>

• Fake flowers and free champagne: Silver Cloud’s homespun charm

  published June 4, 2008

  Country charm. This is a term lovingly applied to just about everything homey in the Midwest. Need to put out a candy dish for guests? Why not... More >>

• Reinhold mofos whoop it up at Bacar

  published May 28, 2008

  "Wow," my friend Shannon said. "There's a whole lotta Judge Reinhold–lookin' mofos up in here." I had to concur. Bacar was loaded with... More >>

• Drinking in pint-sized secrets at Nap’s

  published May 21, 2008

  Cabs are a crapshoot in San Francisco. It always burns my chuff, whatever that is, when I call to reserve one. First of all, the fact that I... More >>

• Putting Sickly Dogs to Sleep: From Bouncer’s Canine to Hillary’s Campaign

  published May 14, 2008

  As some wise sage once said, timing is everything. Last week I showed up at Martuni's too early for the piano bar and too late for the happy... More >>

• Sad cowboys ride into Chevy's for metallic margaritas

  published May 7, 2008

  If you watch the American version of The Office, you know that Michael, the clueless boss played by Steve Carell, likes Chili's... More >>

• Reborn at Harry Denton's Starlight Room

  published April 30, 2008

  Lately I've been having strange dreams where I am either reborn or am amid death and dying. In the "reborn" situations, I travel down a shaft... More >>

• Thou shalt not mutter to yourself at the Sea Star Club

  published April 23, 2008

  And the winner of the longest dive bar in San Francisco is ... the Sea Star on Third Street in Potrero Hill. From the outside, the place looks... More >>

• Renaissance men at the Nag's Head

  published April 16, 2008

  My father is what you would call a Renaissance man. He is a physicist who specializes in quarks, which are parts of atoms. The more you try to... More >>

• The Naked Ape: Body Image and Baboons at Retox Lounge

  published April 9, 2008

  Seein' as I just love Planet of the Apes, along with all of its offspring (sequels, remake, TV show, merchandising), I was excited to... More >>

• Ghostbusting at the Queen Anne Hotel Pt. 2: Haunted by Onions

  published April 2, 2008

  When last I left off, I was about to enter a haunted room in the Queen Anne Hotel (see More >>

• Ghostbusting at The Queen Anne Hotel: Pt. 1

  published March 26, 2008

  Every night I tell myself, "I am the cosmos; I am the wind." Then I make sure I have my ID and I head out. On one particular night last... More >>

• Where the hell is Bill? He's at Danny Coyle's

  published March 19, 2008

  A friend of mine who is in her 60s is afraid she might be developing Alzheimer's. She is losing her acuity, her memory, and her train of... More >>

• Eavesdropping Once Again: the codependents at Basil

  published March 5, 2008

  If there's gonna be sports on TV in a bar — and let's face it, there always is — then I can hope that it will at least be hockey.... More >>

• Depth of a Salesman: Parsing Economic Philosophy at Paragon

  published February 27, 2008

  There's a line in the Bible that reads, "There are many rooms in my father's house." I have no idea what this means, but it often runs through... More >>

• Cougars, Paul Robeson, and PMS Pepper Bouncer's Trip to Kilowatt

  published February 20, 2008

  So I went off Prozac a few months back, and my brain is just starting to stabilize. At first I fell into a really gnarly depression, the usual... More >>

• All in the Family: Drinking After Hours at Laiola

  published February 13, 2008

  Sometimes I really miss working in a restaurant. People from all walks of life band together for a few hours and work really hard. Then the... More >>

• Bouncer Tees Off on Condi Rice, Televised Football

  published February 6, 2008

  It's always interesting to me when learned, accomplished women turn out to be obsessed with sports. For example, Joyce Carol Oates loves... More >>