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1997 Stories by Rob Brezsny

Archives: 1999 | 1998 | 1997 | 1996 | 1995
  • REAL ASTROLOGY For an Unreal World

    published December 31, 1997

    Aries (March 21-April 19): I heard a song on the radio the other day that had a line you should know about. "All the things that matter most," an... More >>

  • REAL ASTROLOGY For an Unreal World

    published December 24, 1997

    Aries (March 21-April 19): After hunting everywhere for the right metaphor for your fate in 1998, I found it in a tabloid newspaper, the Sun. The... More >>

  • REAL ASTROLOGY For an Unreal World

    published December 17, 1997

    Aries (March 21-April 19): Happy Holy Daze, Aries! If I could give you just one holiday gift, it would be the map to buried treasure. Which buried... More >>

  • REAL ASTROLOGY For an Unreal World

    published December 10, 1997

    Aries (March 21-April 19): Is the cosmos a great soulless machine? Is it a product of blind forces that just happen, through a prodigious number... More >>

  • REAL ASTROLOGY For an Unreal World

    published December 3, 1997

    Aries (March 21-April 19): I'm conservative about ingesting mind-altering substances. Still, my vote for the Millennium's Smartest Prophet goes to... More >>

  • REAL ASTROLOGY For an Unreal World

    published November 26, 1997

    Aries (March 21-April 19): Come the holiday season, everyone becomes more receptive to the possibility that miracles can happen. Even the... More >>

  • REAL ASTROLOGY For an Unreal World

    published November 19, 1997

    Aries (March 21-April 19): Despite the fact that lately your life may seem to have been directed by Blade Runner's Ridley Scott, I urge you not to... More >>

  • REAL ASTROLOGY For an Unreal World

    published November 12, 1997

    Aries (March 21-April 19): Who says Aries are simple, transparent folk with one-track minds? Film star Steven Seagal is an Aries, and he's as... More >>

  • REAL ASTROLOGY For an Unreal World

    published November 5, 1997

    Aries (March 21-April 19): This would be a pretty good week to rise at 4 a.m. to confess your sins and say prayers for two hours before beginning... More >>

  • REAL ASTROLOGY For an Unreal World

    published October 29, 1997

    Aries (March 21-April 19): I suppose you could dress up as a vampire or ghost or devil this Halloween. That might be spooky in an enervated,... More >>

  • REAL ASTROLOGY For an Unreal World

    published October 22, 1997

    Aries (March 21-April 19): So Aries, what are you going to be when you grow up, anyway? The best damn rodeo clown who ever lived? A wisecracking... More >>

  • REAL ASTROLOGY For an Unreal World

    published October 15, 1997

    Aries (March 21-April 19): I guess it would be OK for you and your sweetheart to buy matching monogrammed sweaters, but I can think of more... More >>

  • REAL ASTROLOGY For an Unreal World

    published October 8, 1997

    Aries (March 21-April 19): I figure your week ahead will probably have something in common with that roller coaster malfunction in Belgium a few... More >>

  • REAL ASTROLOGY For an Unreal World

    published September 24, 1997

    Aries (March 21-April 19): The Chinese city of Lanzhou is plagued by stagnant pollution. Its cars and industries pour out a constant supply of... More >>

  • REAL ASTROLOGY For an Unreal World

    published September 17, 1997

    Aries (March 21-April 19): The cosmic traffic signal is about to change from red to green. Your unlucky number will soon stop popping up every... More >>

  • REAL ASTROLOGY For an Unreal World

    published September 10, 1997

    Aries (March 21-April 19): In North America, the thumbs-up gesture means "Good job" or "Way to go," but in Australia it carries the message of "Up... More >>

  • REAL ASTROLOGY For an Unreal World

    published September 3, 1997

    Aries (March 21-April 19): Don't share deep secrets with convicted felons this week. Don't shoplift beef jerky from convenience stores. Don't... More >>

  • REAL ASTROLOGY

    published August 27, 1997

    Aries (March 21-April 19): The raging furnace approach to life just won't work for you these days, my fiery friend. Nor will the burn it to the... More >>

  • REAL ASTROLOGY For an Unreal World

    published August 20, 1997

    Aries (March 21-April 19): While on vacation in Maui, I've made a point of floating for hours at a time in the womb- temperature sea. During these... More >>

  • REAL ASTROLOGY For an Unreal World

    published August 13, 1997

    Aries (March 21-April 19): About the fifth month of pregnancy, the mother-to-be starts feeling the growing fetus kicking her. It's often a... More >>

  • REAL ASTROLOGY For an Unreal World

    published August 6, 1997

    Aries (March 21-April 19): How dare you be so gorgeous and irresistible? What the hell were you thinking when you made yourself into a sleek... More >>

  • REAL ASTROLOGY For an Unreal World

    published July 30, 1997

    Aries (March 21-April 19): Recipe for Jelly Bean Soup: Wait for a morning when you wake up in an irrationally cheerful mood. Put on the clothes... More >>

  • REAL ASTROLOGY For an Unreal World

    published July 23, 1997

    Aries (March 21-April 19): Science News reports that contracting certain childhood diseases may ultimately be good for you. For instance, early... More >>

  • REAL ASTROLOGY For an Unreal World

    published July 16, 1997

    Aries (March 21-April 19): You'll have a spooky yet benevolent magic working in your behalf any time you pry open locked doors that lead you to... More >>

  • REAL ASTROLOGY For an Unreal World

    published July 9, 1997

    Aries (March 21-April 19): Half the time lately you've reminded me of a bear: lumbering, gruff, driven by appetite, given to long sleeps,... More >>

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