Best First Date

Treat your newest flame(s) to Friday nights at the de Young. You'll get free music, a cash bar, and plenty of opportunities to show what a serious and thoughtful person you are before trying to get into his/her/their pants. Observe! Let's say you begin in the Haight and stroll over to the museum while sharing your delicately positioned likes and dislikes. You marvel aloud at how much you have in common with him/her/them. (Yes, I agree that Fail Dogs is the new LOLcats. OMG, soulmate!). Then after downing some gin while listening to whatever live band is playing — oh, you love Latin jazz, too? OMG! — you take an excursion up the museum's fabled tower, where you attempt to demonstrate your mastery of all things San Francisco by correctly identifying the structures that only local pedants would recognize. If you can't score after all that, then there's just no help for you.

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