Weapons of Mass Distraction

By now, everyone knows that the search for Iraqi weapons of mass destruction has been fruitless. In these stressful times, though, the quest for another kind of WMD - the weapons of mass distraction - continues. This year, we tapped our entire network of spies in Baghdad (Baghdad by the Bay, that is), and they found all the secret pleasures this amazing bazaar of a city offers. The Best of San Francisco is their report, and if you have a need to know about the finest in distraction - the very best people, places, sports, nightlife, shopping, dining, and drinking in the best city in the world - you're holding the most reliable intelligence available on the subject. And it's classified: for your eyes only.