By now, everyone knows that the search for Iraqi weapons of mass destruction has been fruitless. In these stressful times, though, the quest for another kind of WMD - the weapons of mass distraction - continues. This year, we tapped our entire network of spies in Baghdad (Baghdad by the Bay, that is), and they found all the secret pleasures this amazing bazaar of a city offers. The Best of San Francisco is their report, and if you have a need to know about the finest in distraction - the very best people, places, sports, nightlife, shopping, dining, and drinking in the best city in the world - you're holding the most reliable intelligence available on the subject. And it's classified: for your eyes only.