No, you shouldn't drive drunk. But if you do anyway, you really, really, really shouldn't drive through the Presidio, where the United States Park Patrol runs regular sobriety checkpoints. Recently, a friend of this newspaper was dragged from his car after consuming two glasses of wine, plus an after-dinner cocktail, over the course of a two-hour meal (and if you do the calculations, taking body weight into account, well, let's say things could have got interesting). Fortunately, this person makes a regular habit of reciting the alphabet, counting backward from 37 to 25, then standing on one foot for 30 seconds, and, after being commended on his excellent motor skills, was sent on his way with a free copy of Cheers: Liquor-less Libations to Make Your Party Swing. You might not be so lucky.