Best Local Psychic - 2003
Move over, Madame Zolta, at least when it comes to predicting the outcome of wars. Bruce-watchers will recall with glee his most recent howler, an April 2 Bay Guardian cover story headlined "The New Vietnam." The article was accompanied by an all-caps headline and a photo of a panic-stricken U.S. serviceman in Iraq, cowering behind a huge fireball. The clear message: Look out, folks; this new war's gonna be as deep a sinkhole as the old one. Comparing a modern U.S. war to Vietnam -- how edgy! How brilliant! How original! And how did the prediction pan out? Let's see now: More than 50,000 U.S. soldiers got killed in Vietnam vs. about 100 in Iraq. Civilians were splattered by the hundreds of thousands in Nam while noncombatant casualties were remarkably low in Iraq. Vietnam lasted more than 10 years; Iraq lasted less than a month (effectively ending about two weeks after the story ran). Vietnam destroyed a U.S. president, while Iraq turned one into an action hero. Well, you get the picture. Trying to draw analogies between Vietnam and Iraq is as ridiculous as Brugmann's other pet causes. Scores of reputable publications around the nation opposed the Iraq war, but did so in a thoughtful, intelligent manner. Leave it to the SFBG, our favorite political pamphlet, to help delegitimize yet another liberal cause. Bush, Rumsfeld, and Ashcroft send their sincerest thanks, Bruce.