Need to loosen up your next house party or larger event? Consider hiring the Porn Clown Posse, a troupe of smutty Klowns (their spelling) with names like Ouchy, Flambeau, Snatchy, and Rugburns in outfits that range from Victorian corsetry to modern slave chic. Add a splash of salaciousness with cream pies and penis-shaped balloon animals (a PCP party staple) or get into more advanced territory with customized BD/SM activities such as "clownjobs" and "clowntimidation." One perennial party favorite is the "Grope-A-Klown Box," a polka-dotted wooden receptacle drilled with "glory holes." Guests can put on red noses, jump in the box, and become amateur gropeable naked Klowns, or they can leave it to the experts. The Klowns work on a sliding scale but their services will generally set one back $200 to $1,000. Of course, the craziest action happens at the PCP's private parties, where anything goes. Giggles posse member iKandi the Klown, "Picture smeared greasepaint and polka-dotted ass cheeks everywhere!" We're trying, iKandi, we're trying.