Best Reason to Stay Home and Rent a Movie - 2003
You know who you are. Yes, you. Hush. You people -- who must break the proverbial fourth wall, whose cinéaste credibility needs gratification, who must express your own indignation during the middle of a movie with a tacky, high-minded, "Sssssss!" -- need to shut it. Indigenous to the Bay Area and most commonly found at independent art-house theaters, you hissers assume that movies are participatory events. Which they aren't. Ever. Sometimes you hiss at previews of overhyped Hollywood juggernauts. Don't want to support such tripe? Then don't go. At other times you hiss at something you find morally objectionable on screen. But we can figure out on our own who the racist, sexist, mustache-twirling antagonist is without your incensed protest spelling it out. Now, we've accepted that patrons will walk willy-nilly into a theater 10, 15, 20 minutes after the show starts, but unlike you, we pay attention to the little screen animation: Silence is golden.