People & Places >>

• Reader's Poll
  Various
  Readers' Poll Best Local Comedian Robin Williams Best Local Stripper Carol Doda Best Local Writer Dave Eggers Best Local Hipster Nate Tynan Best Beat Cop Alex Fagan Best Place to Go on a First Date Midori Mushi Best New Career Option for Willie Brown Pimp Best Fashion Plate... More >>
• Best Place to Meet a Secret Lover
  Caffe Bianco
  There's no shortage of frenetic coffee shops in the Financial District serving office jockeys a quick hit. But if you're meeting a secret lover (or just a friend) for a serious midday conversation, you want a civilized cafe with a slower pace, a modicum of privacy, and a bit of class. On the... More >>
• Best Nasty Clowns
  Porn Clown Posse
  Need to loosen up your next house party or larger event? Consider hiring the Porn Clown Posse, a troupe of smutty Klowns (their spelling) with names like Ouchy, Flambeau, Snatchy, and Rugburns in outfits that range from Victorian corsetry to modern slave chic. Add a splash of salaciousness with... More >>
• Best Scrappy Politician
  Chris Daly
  Why is it that every time we see the current San Francisco supervisors lineup we hear the song "Who Let the Dogs Out" playing in the back of our minds? That could have something to do with the city's feistiest supe, Chris Daly. No one can deny that this former housing advocate has presence. In... More >>
• Best Bitch
  Lisa Miya-Jervis
  Mean, horny, loud, annoying, and smart -- that's what "bitch" often means. Miya-Jervis, editor and publisher of Bitch Magazine, is all those things. She's especially mean to irresponsible advertisers, misogynistic publications, and stupid movies, given that the magazine focuses on providing a... More >>
• Best Local Noir Fiend
  Eddie Muller
  As Fog City's leading authority on film noir, historian and novelist Eddie Muller is the man to call when it comes to "guns and gams," as he puts it in the introduction to his lavish coffee-table book, The Art of Noir. The author of such genre references as Dark City and Dark City Dames as well... More >>
• Best Party Boys
  Martel Toler and Nabiel Musleh
  Known to nightlife aficionados as simply Martel and Nabiel, these two have carved a deep niche in San Francisco club culture. They run M&N Promotions, responsible for some of the most successful parties in town. Friends since the '80s, the entrepreneurs began "Release" in 1990, renting out... More >>
• Best Local Interviewer
  Michael Krasny
  Earlier this year, Michael Krasny celebrated his 10th anniversary as host of Forum, the KQED public affairs radio show that runs every weekday from 9 to 11 a.m. Over that decade, the San Francisco State English professor has established himself as a reasoned, intelligent, and quick-witted... More >>
• Best Way to Plug Into S.F.'s Hidden Emotional Underworld
  "Missed Connections" Section of Craigslist
  Catching a stranger's eye as a bus goes by, wondering briefly what might have been, is part of the charm and frustration of living in the city. But you don't always have to just wonder. The "missed connections" section on Craigslist provides a unique kind of bulletin board, a place where... More >>
• Best Crazy S.F. Place to Take Out-of-Towners
  Tactile Dome
  Dr. August Coppola (Francis' brother and Nicolas Cage's dad) designed this touchy-feely 1971 oddity -- a one-way maze inside a geodesic dome that you must feel your way through, in complete darkness. Coppola built the attraction so that one must climb, crawl, slide, and fall to get to the end,... More >>
• Best Chron Columnist
  Ray Ratto
  In the time it takes Rob Morse to stroke his chin, the Sporting Green's Ray Ratto will have written two columns about the Giants, another about the Sharks, tapped out 600 words on the Niners for ESPN.com, and gofered stats for a graphic about pitchers. The guy's prolific: A Nexis search on his... More >>
• Best Local Film Critic
  David Thomson
  Last year, Thomson, a Brit living in Pacific Heights, released a fourth edition of his massive Biographical Dictionary of Film. It's an odd, addictive book, nearly 1,000 pages of the author's highly personal sketches (with room for both Rin Tin Tin and Reese Witherspoon). You can pingpong around... More >>
• Best Place to Meet Cute Queers During the Day
  Dolores Park Café
  Night's easy. You can go to clubs, bars, raves, poetry readings, interpretive dance -- hell, almost anywhere -- and meet available dudes. But where do you meet your same-sex dreamboat in the a.m.? If you guessed the southwest corner of Dolores Park, you're close, but wrong. Leave the preening... More >>
• Best Local Answer to Terry Gross
  Sydney Goldstein of "City Arts & Lectures"
  Anyone who ever listens to NPR has heard Terry Gross' voice, if only to say the words "Fresh Air" -- drawn out yet run together, like "freshaaaaiiiirrr" -- as she hosts cultural figures on her daily program. But those who listen to a broadcast of our best local series of literary and... More >>
• Best Place to Read the Sunday Paper
  Café Que Tal
  Hidden among random storefronts on the west side of Guerrero in the Mission District, Café Que Tal receives what seems to be a blessed quantity and intensity of light. Whether it's a yellow morning sun or a deep afternoon glow, the place basks in a warm radiance throughout the day, making... More >>
• Best Bar Smoking Patio
  Lucky 13
  The Castro District boasts some of the best smokers' patios in the city, and Lucky 13's tops even the rest of the neighborhood. Lucky 13 is an unpretentious and slightly generic bar with a bit of a dark edge and a startling number of imported beers on tap. But the best reason to duck under its... More >>
• Best Cocktail Pianist
  Ricardo Scales
  We first encountered Scales at the Redwood Room back in the days when it was still the swankiest saloon in the city, and were as dazzled by his cascading, impressionistic flights of fancy as by the lush surroundings and stellar bar mix. Sometimes he'd pause in the middle of a particularly... More >>
• Best Place to Pretend You're Living Sex and the City
  Opening Nights at 111 Minna Gallery
  The distinguished gent with the graying temples and the half-empty martini glass smiles conspiratorially as we swoop in on the buffet table and pile our paper napkin with slabs of brie and fresh strawberries. An exchange of witticisms is duly followed by introductions and a discussion of the... More >>
• Best Back Alley
  Ross Alley
  Ross Alley is the oldest alleyway in Chinatown and therefore in San Francisco, and as such boasts phantoms both benign and sinister. It was here that Fung Jing Toy (aka "Little Pete"), Chinatown's criminal mastermind, maintained most of the cribs, opium dens, and gambling joints that so enriched... More >>
• Best Street Name
  Ambrose Bierce Street
  Ambrose Bierce arrived in San Francisco after a stint in the Union Army, and before long his stiletto wit, usually employed at the expense of organized religion and the mendacity of public life, was gracing the pages of The Argonaut and other publications. (He once threatened an angry reader... More >>
• Best Eurotrash Hangout (After North Beach)
  Belden Place
  The romantic's vision of Paris -- a leisurely glass of wine at an open-air cafe -- doesn't translate easily in fogbound San Francisco. But some locals are so besotted with the European ideal that they will take that outdoor table at Belden Place and have that vin rouge even when the winds... More >>
• Best Place to Hand Over the Microfilm
  Empress of China's Cocktail Lounge
  The man in the gray fedora is late, but it doesn't matter, really: The deep leather (or is it pleather?) swivel chairs in the restaurant's sixth-floor bar are a fine vantage point for the expansive, smudged-pane nighttime view of the city lights. Celebrities come here all the time -- it was... More >>
• Best Unknown Scenic Spot
  China Beach
  Ocean Beach offers a due-west orientation along with an impressive vista north and south -- and a face full of gusting wind. For a kinder, gentler side of the Pacific Ocean, take your out-of-town friends to China Beach, just west of Baker Beach on San Francisco's north shore. Walk north on 27th... More >>
• Best Radio Goofs
  Sarah & No Name
  We don't particularly enjoy waking up at 7 a.m., but it sure is nice to start the day with a belly laugh. The Morning Show with Sarah and No Name is a hilarious mix of camp and fluff, toilet bowl one-liners, boy-vs.-girl banter, and snappy commentary on the entertainment biz and current events.... More >>
• Best Place to Act 9 Years Old
  Carousel at Yerba Buena Gardens
  Call it a merry-go-round if you must, but this is no ordinary amusement-park ride. Built in 1906 and in operation at Playland-at-the-Beach from 1912 to 1972, the Carousel is a time-tripping link to another era. Even if you're not old enough to have hopped a ride back in the day, or if you choose... More >>
• Best Local Film Honcho
  Henry S. Rosenthal
  Good movie producers are as adept at constructing myths about themselves as they are at getting films made. Rosenthal loves showing off his collection of two-headed calves (two, at the moment) and his enormous semicircular desk emblazoned with the initials JB (which he claims belonged to a... More >>
• Best Meeting of Past and Present
  Fort Point
  The Civil War era, complete with cannonballs, lives on at the most bone-chilling spot in San Francisco (since the Giants ceased playing night games at Candlestick, that is). Completed in 1861 as defense against a possible invasion via the bay, this brick fort in the Presidio still reeks of... More >>
• Best Phone-Sex Educator
  John Bouvier
  To be clear, John Bouvier isn't here to take calls about enlarging your member or your "friend's" penchant for feathers. (There are 900 numbers for that.) But if you have serious or sensitive questions about sex and sexual health, the president of this volunteer-staffed telephone hotline (which... More >>
• Best Place to Meet aConstruction Hunk (Without Really Trying)
  Specialty's Cafe and Bakery
  Eight o'clock in the morning, and the pleasant smells of freshly baked pastries are in the air. Holding a cup of coffee in one hand and the money to pay for it in the other, all a girl can think about is: Look at all those cakes! What cake? Beefcake. It appears that with all the construction... More >>
• Best Place to See a Cross Section of San Franciscans
  Dolores Park
  Not sure where to bring your friends and family to show off the famed loopiness of the city? New to San Francisco and want a quick rundown of who lives here? A sunny afternoon at Dolores Park can help. The multitiered park is rich with the strata of almost every local stereotype and subdivision... More >>
• Best Place to Be Fondly Reminded of Your S.F. Childhood
  Wonder Bread/Hostess Bakery
  Like most urban areas, San Francisco offers some, uh, interesting scents to tickle our metropolitan noses. But one place produces a delightful odor that shocks us right back to our callow youth: the Wonder Bread/Hostess Bakery. Walking past the old brick factory near SOMA on a calm day, we can... More >>
• Best (and Certainly Coolest) Cultural Figure
  Rhodessa Jones
  Rhodessa Jones is the most gorgeous grandmother you could ever hope to see. Her neck is about a mile long, and smooth as paper. She peers over her high cheekbones at her audiences, her wide mouth set in a hard line. When she speaks, you listen. The founder and director of the Medea Project:... More >>
• Best Government Employee
  Joe Lynn
  Lynn defines the phrase "public servant." As campaign finance officer and technical guru of the San Francisco Ethics Commission, Lynn is charged with the care and feeding of a database that tells the public who gave how much to which candidate, when. In a city where politics is the sport of... More >>
• Best (and Definitely Most Eccentric) Barkeep
  Bobby Cobby
  When Bobby Cobby took over the Owl Tree bar in 1977, he realized that he'd found another suitable place to house the thousands of owl-related items he'd collected since childhood (he rotates his stock of owl paraphernalia among home, storage, and bar). Bobby has since decorated the dim dive with... More >>
• Best Place to Score Free Treats for Your Pooch
  Golden Gate Bridge Toll Booth
  The first time we had a dog biscuit handed to us with our change on a return crossing of the Golden Gate, we were taken aback with delight. How unexpected and small-town friendly. We don't travel over the bridge regularly ($5 is outrageous even for the biggest tourist attraction in S.F.), but... More >>
• Best Local Writer
  Michael Chabon
  We've followed his career for quite some time -- since 1988 to be exact -- when his short story "The Halloween Party" appeared in The New Yorker. It's a heart-wrenching tale crafted in effortlessly lyrical prose, like buttah. We fell in love. That same year, his debut novel The Mysteries of... More >>
• Best Union Members
  Tie Between Strippers and Bike Messengers
  San Francisco is obviously home to the Sexiest Union Members Anywhere. But which group takes the top honor? If you've ever seen exotic dancers when they're not working, you know that the prize doesn't automatically go to them. Bicycle messengers, on the other hand, look tough, gritty, and... More >>
• Best Public Statue
  Earth's Fruitfulness and Man's Inventive Genius
  What we're talking about here is a statue, a larger-than-life, three-dimensional artistic representation of the human animal, not some abstract slab of granite like the Banker's Heart that rests forlornly in front of the Bank of America Building. Several candidates come to mind: Bufano's Sun... More >>
• Best Place to Forget the Other 49 States
  Coit Tower
  The world seems to grow sweeter step by step as you hike to the top of Telegraph Hill. The noise of the city fades away, and you become more aware of birds, flowers, and sky. At the summit, the panorama of the bay, Alcatraz, and Angel Island is transfixing. It remains the best show in town, with... More >>
• Best Tunnel
  Broadway Tunnel
  Of the four tunnels that penetrate San Francisco's hilly geography, the Broadway is the newest and the ugliest. Completed in 1952 at a cost of $5 million, it has none of the Edwardian charm of the Stockton, the Duboce, or the Twin Peaks -- all engineered by M.M. O'Shaughnessy during the city's... More >>
• Best Residential Block (or Two)
  Washington between Gough and Laguna
  The diverse residential neighborhoods of San Francisco are a simple source of pleasure for Sunday strollers and amateur architects who appreciate the myriad possibilities of urban habitation. Alamo Square is a Victorian delight, and the cuckoo clocks clinging to Telegraph Hill have an... More >>
• Best Up-and-Coming Power Couple
  Gavin and Kimberly
  In the pantheon of powerful pairs to be found preening on opening night at the San Francisco Opera, some stand out more than others. There are, of course, Mayor Willie Brown and Carolyn Carpeneti, da lame duck's fund-raiser and mama of baby Sydney. Then there are the Shultzes, as in the... More >>
• Best Local Psychic
  Bruce Brugmann
  Move over, Madame Zolta, at least when it comes to predicting the outcome of wars. Bruce-watchers will recall with glee his most recent howler, an April 2 Bay Guardian cover story headlined "The New Vietnam." The article was accompanied by an all-caps headline and a photo of a panic-stricken... More >>
• Best Pre-Quake Structure
  1013 Vallejo (at Taylor)
  Up on Russian Hill there are several buildings that for various reasons escaped the sweeping destruction of the 1906 earthquake and fire. 1652-56 Taylor, near the Vallejo steps, survived under a barrage of seltzer water and wet sand. Another survivor, 1067 Green between Jones and Leavenworth, is... More >>
• Best Place to Watch Pretty Women Walking Down the Street With Yoga Mats
  Valencia between 18th and 24th streets, Monday through Friday, 5 to 7 p.m.
  They're healthy. They're pretty. They're glowing with chi. What more is there to say? More >>
• Best Way to Put a King and Queen in City Hall
  The Co-Mayorship Proposition
  Proposition XXY, which has been floated for years, would replace the mayor's position with a "co-mayorship." Yeah, yeah, we know Willie is already one mayor too many. But there's an argument to be made that we do need two chief executives. Why? Because there's an election looming, and each of... More >>
• Best Muni Line
  1 California
  Why are people so friggin' nice on the 1 California? For Chrissakes, the 1 feels more like BART than Muni! We want things to be pleasant, but can't we find a happy medium between Muni's near riots and BART's annoying politeness? This is a city, after all! We have an image to uphold! The... More >>
• Best Hotel Lobby (1 Comment)
  Westin St. Francis Hotel
  Local lore has it that everybody in town passes through the St. Francis lobby at one time or another. And many of those who do seem intent on adhering to another tradition -- meeting someone under the 1856 Viennese Magneta grandfather clock that towers from a corner. Whether or not you go there... More >>
• Best Place to Sit and Do Nothing
  Ghirardelli Square

  900 North Point (at Polk)

  OK, so maybe you're with someone who wants to shop, or you're not above a little shopping yourself. Or maybe you just want to sip a latte and be entertained by the passing parade of humanity (including droves of tourists) that finds its way to the one-time headquarters of Domingo Ghirardelli's... More >>
• Best Vestibule
  Masonic Temple of California
  When you're waiting for the 90 at Van Ness and Market at 3 in the morning, it's a distracting pleasure to contemplate the old Masonic Temple across the street. Erected in 1911 by the architecture firm of Bliss & Faville and renovated in 1985, the building has the stately yet rococo resplendence... More >>
• Best Day to Avoid the Haight
  Day of the Haight Street Fair
  There are many glorious, sun-drenched summer days in the Haight-Ashbury District, when the tourists cram the cheesy head shops and the locals peruse the aisles at Amoeba Music, but there's one sure day to avoid: the afternoon of the Haight Street Fair. We understand the fair provides a good way... More >>
• Five Best Stops on a Brokenhearted Girl's Road to Recovery
  Five Best Stops on a Brokenhearted Girl's Road to Recovery You've returned those stupid bluegrass CDs that you never liked anyway, and made your last midnight drunk-dial. The romance is Officially Over, and now you're cycling through Elisabeth Kübler-Ross' five stages of death,... More >>