You've got to work pretty hard to win in this category, and if there's anything the Mothballs do it's work hard at getting drunk. Or should we say that three of these musicians do. That's right, this foursome scores highest on the alcoholometer with only three-quarters of its members tanking up! The funny thing is that it's impossible to tell during a Mothballs show which performer is the sober one, since all of them act like Animal of the Muppets' band — you know, all spazzy, as if their limbs were yanked around by strings and hidden fingers. The band plays a euphoric racket, something akin to Muddy Waters squeezing the last drop of liquor from Billy Childish's headcoat (that's a hat). It's no wonder the quartet has been asked to play an all-female roller derby convention in Las Vegas, a girl's 18th birthday party in Walnut Creek, and a place one band member calls "pig-fuck-alley." Mothers, when the Mothballs are in town, lock up the liquor cabinet and your daughters.