Who would win in a fight: Abraham Lincoln or Jerry Garcia? If you have weird questions, like this one, the place to ask them is at the Dr. Hal Show, which appears at various clubs in the city. However, questions of a trivial, personal, or simple-minded type will be viciously ridiculed, and they'll take your money anyway: Dr. Hal has a posse. Among them are soundman KROB, armed with a custom keyboard loaded with fart noises, David Capurro, who furiously calls up relevant Web images to project onscreen, and the infuriatingly smart-mouthed Chicken John, who reads your questions aloud. Meanwhile, the good Doctor produces witty, polysyllabically verbose responses from his crystal-ball laden desk. Stick a few extra simoleons in the envelope with your question, and he may even perform a "bardic recitation," involving a long epic poem spoken from memory. More likely, he'll spend most of the evening entertaining notions like "When is the angle of the dangle equal to the heat of the meat?"