Mayor Gavin Newsom might be "relieved like a laxative" now that his admirer in diapers, Han Sup Shin, has been served with a restraining order for trying to break into his apartment this past Valentine's Day (so romantic!), but we kind of miss the nut. We could go into detail about the awesomeness that is Shin: His fondness for sporting purple gloves, which signify "divinity and royalty"; his insanely delusional use of the term "President Gavin Newsom"; his (alleged) penchant for running over ex-lover's lovers in his car; and his photo-shopping skills that boast Gavin sporting a fierce kimono. But the main reason to be in awe of Shin is his 2005 literary effort Beauty With a Cause (or Beauty With a Purpose), dedicated to a trifecta of hotness: Marcus Schenkenberg, Ricky Martin, and, of course, Gavin Newsom. With bizarre gems like "[h]e towered over 6-foot-7 inches with the muscles from Brussels of Jean-Claude Van Damme, and the romantic charm of Richard Gere in the movie, Pretty Woman, rolled up into one dark, sweet package like a Milky Way chocolate bar." We would love to see Shin start a (heavily copyedited) blog in the future, instead of trying to sodomize and spoon the Gav.