Most people have probably never set eyes on one of those banal, district-specific newspapers that supposedly provide indifferent city dwellers with a bird's-eye view of their hood, but The Loin's Mouth is the kind of rag you just want to devour. Next time you're schlepping unsuspecting tourists across town to prove to them that the most delectable hole-in-the-wall eateries happen to be in the Tenderloin, pick up this delightful, semiquarterly zine from a bookstore or seedy bar. Far from giving you the lowdown on the latest neighborhood watch meeting or providing you with poorly written reviews of nondescript lunch spots, it specializes in reportage for the disaffected, booze-soaked masses — with themes and stories specific to San Francisco's "most ghetto-fabulous neighborhood," of course. It's kind of like The Onion — but smarter, more informative, and not made up. Each issue is generally built around a gravity-weighted theme (like drunkenness or one-night stands) and contains everything from profiles on graffiti artists to excoriations of political elitism, in addition to some dope reviews of under-the-radar shops, restaurants, and theater revues. Add a dose of erotica and some humorous disgruntlement, and this is really most of the information you need to know.