Kinky Estate Sale Alert: S.F. Armory Selling Pretty Much Everything

From April 6-9, the historic building's Drill Court will be the site of an enormous sale, of everything from ordinary office equipment to "erotic art and implements" to a pool table and a piano.

Everything must go, including this stuff (maybe) (SF Armory)

Barely a few months after Kink.com wound down its California operations and the SF Armory was set to transition into a full-time venue, it’s all over. As we reported in February, the Armory was sold to a developer for $65 million, and everything must go.

So from Friday to Monday, April 6-9, the colossal, century-old building on the corner of 14th and Mission will empty itself of its contents in a five-day estate sale — and all the items can be found in the Drill Court.

“In our decade in the Armory, we spent almost as much time decorating it as we did shooting in it,” Kink.com spokesperson Mike Stabile said in a statement. “Anyone who came here on a tour, or for a party, or a business meeting will remember the high Victorian décor, the vintage furniture, the walls of art, and the tremendous history. There are some truly amazing pieces, and we’re excited for them to have new homes.”

It’s not just painted velvet boobies in gaudy frames. This sale, managed by The YES Co., runs the gamut from ordinary office furniture and production equipment to a black W.K. Kimball grand piano to “vintage dental and gynecological chairs.” You’ll find lots of lamps, plenty of modern furniture, an entire Hoist exercise gym system, a Price Is Right-sounding grandfather clock — and lots of photography, erotic and otherwise. They had a few similar sales last year, but nothing of this scale.

If you want to call dibs on the human hamster wheel(!), you’d be wise to mosey on down early. Same goes for the faux 14-foot columns, the torture rack, the antique bird cages, the vintage medical exam table, plus hand-carved chairs, chandeliers, commodes, trunks, and all sorts of macabre Edwardian what-have-you. See the full-ish list here.

The Armory Estate Sale, April 6-9, 10 a.m. – 4 p.m., San Francisco Armory Drill Court, 1800 Mission St., sfarmory.com

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