Meet Chicken John — Do What He Says?

The Audium

San Francisco is famous for lots of things: Coit Tower, some bridge, Happy Meals. And once every couple of years, San Francisco is famous inside itself for a man who goes by Chicken John. This cantankerous weirdo calls himself a “showman,” which media outlets continue to repeat even though it has no meaning, because how else to describe him? He once ringleaded a traveling circus, he thinks he started Burning Man, he doesn't even bother to hide the fact that he's a con man, and his campaign for mayor almost got him arrested. More than anything, though, Chicken John will not, cannot, and never will stop mouthing off. He's loud in person and — importantly — idiot-savantishly hysterical in print. He can spell but won't, uses all caps in thoughtless ways, and wants something. What he wants is rarely clear, probably even to him, but confusion never slows him down. In these posts, expect unintelligible ranting and little else, supposedly on the subject of local art and culture. Feel free to respond in kind. We've titled these contributions to reflect the only thing we're sure he can't do; please don't give him any money. [-Hiya Swanhuyser]

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