Butt Stuff, Part Two

Don't be an asshole asshole.

A few weeks ago, I wrote about some of the basics about anal play: Wash your butt, use lots of lube, start small, and take your time. But as with many a newbie hole, I couldn’t cram everything that I wanted into such a small space on that first try, so I give you butt stuff, part two.

When you put something in your ass, whether it’s a finger, a cock, a dildo, or something else, there is always the possibility that you will end up with some poop where you didn’t want it. Shit happens! And whether it was evolution or socialization, humans developed an aversion to feces. For the most part, this is useful in keeping us from developing and spreading illnesses caused by the likes of E. coli, norovirus, parasites, fungi, and other lovely organisms that can wreak havoc on our digestive systems and disrupt our lives. This aversion was particularly helpful before we had clean water and modern medicine, when dysentery was likely to kill us before the age of 30. Unfortunately, this natural aversion has lead to the development of a cultural fear of poop that may inhibit the joys of anal pleasure for some and cause others to go to unhealthy extremes to avoid it.  

A few months ago, an infographic made the rounds on social media about the “proper” way to “clean out” your system if and when you were planning or expecting to get fucked or fisted. It described a quick-and-easy process to ensure a clean rectum, as well as a lengthier regimen — up to two hours! — to do the equivalent of flushing out a dirty, rusty, 30-year-old radiator.

For most people, there is no reason to be quite this anal about cleaning out your system prior to engaging in ass play. Now, if you’re someone engaging in the type of play that involves extremely large toys, extreme fisting, or any other activities that involve inserting something more than 6-to-8 inches long into your rectum — which is impressive — this article probably isn’t for you. In fact, according to a recent study, most Americans aren’t really into anal or rough sex, despite what you might see in porn. However, gay and bisexual men might engage in it by slightly higher rates than was reported.

Here’s the real deal about “cleaning out” or anal douching. For the most part, it’s not even necessary. The human body is a magnificent machine that is really, really good at detoxing and keeping our systems clean and operational — which means that there usually isn’t any fecal material just sitting in our rectums. The best thing you can do is to eat a healthy diet that’s high in fiber, and then, prior to getting down to business, take a shit and wash your ass. In case there’s an accident, you can put a towel down on your expensive linens, mostly to catch all that lube you should be using. If you do end up with poop dick or shitty finger, don’t panic. It may put a damper on the mood, but it’s nothing that a little soap and water can’t fix.  

If you want to take that extra precaution, here are a few ways you can clean up down there without doing any damage. First, plain warm water is your friend. You don’t need to use a Fleet enema, as tempting as they may be as an impulse purchase at the register. (I’ve seen them at sex shops and even at the grocery in the Pines on Fire Island!) Saline enemas work by drawing water into your intestines, causing everything to flush out. You should only do this when your doctor tells you to do so, usually for severe constipation or surgery prep. I also don’t recommend using an enema nozzle that you attach to the faucet.

But if that’s your only option, make sure the water is warm, not hot, and that the pressure is very low. If the pressure is high, it can cause tearing in your intestine. If you use excessive amounts of water or douche for long periods of time, you not only risk damaging the lining of your intestines, but you can destroy bacteria in your gut that helps you digest food and keeps things moving properly. So just don’t do it.

All you need is a simple enema bulb, which you can get at a sex shop or even your local drug store. Fill it with a few ounces of warm water, insert the nozzle into your anus, and give it a gentle squeeze. Once you feel “full,” hold the water in for 10 seconds or so and expel in the shower or the toilet. If you really feel it’s necessary, repeat once or twice. Put down a towel on the bed, grab that bottle of lube, a dildo, a friend’s cock, or a helping hand, and enjoy the pleasure of anal play!

 

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