Vagina 101: How to Eat Pussy Like a Champ, at the Center for Sex and Culture

V-Day is coming, so SF Weekly put out some feelers to local sexperts and sexologists for advice on how to warm up the lovin’ oven.

Your Valentine’s Day might not be complete without a trip to the tunnel of love, but many of us struggle with the mechanics of properly pleasuring a vagina. To clear up confusion about these nether regions, we put on our pussy hats and asked a few of San Francisco’s leading sex educators for advice on the ins and outs.

“Not all women have pussies, and not everybody who has a pussy is a woman,” says sex and intimacy coach Dr. Alison Ash, whose Feb. 18 workshop “How to Eat Pussy Like a Champ” at the Center for Sex and Culture will go down a list of vaginal pleasure tips and tricks. “Champ-quality pussy-eating is so much more than a mouth on and hands in a pussy..”

Good Vibrations staff sexologist Dr. Carol Queen demystifies the lady bits with some anatomical input.

“The mysterious ‘down below’ is a little less puzzling if you remember that there are several parts to it,” she says. “The clitoris is the very sensitive organ on the outside, above the vaginal opening. The vagina is the ‘innie.’ The vulva is the outer part: pretty much everything around the clitoris and down to either side of the vaginal introitus, or opening.”

There are a number of pleasure points going on down there, and you may want to broaden your definition of “vagina” for maximum results.

“Calling your whole pussy your vagina is like calling your face your throat,” Ash recalls a comedian saying.

Those of us who are not equipped with vaginas still experience similar pleasure to that of our own respective junk.

“The clit develops from the exact same kind of tissue as the penis,” Queen says. “It is sensitive like the penile head, or whatever you’d call that phallic tissue, regardless of gender.”

Queen also emphasizes a slow approach peppered with dirty talk and foreplay.

“It’s especially important not to enter a person’s vagina before they want it,” she says. “You don’t get them hot by touching it — you touch it after they’re hot. It’s wise to develop good kissing skills, on the mouth and the clit.”

Arousal requires blood rushing to the vagina’s internal components, so when you’re working it, your goal is to create what Dr. Ash calls “that achy feeling — I call it ‘female blue balls’ — that oh-I-just-need-to-get-fucked kind of feeling.”

“The clitoris is, on average, five inches long. Most of that is inside a female’s body, and it wraps around the vaginal canal. What we want to do for champ-quality pussy-eating is get blood flowing to the pussy,” Ash says. “By creating pressure on the internal clitoris, you’re going to be able to generate a lot more pleasure.

Ash recommends a little finger trick she calls “The Ruler.”

“When the pussy is wet and if it wants to be penetrated, try putting one or two fingers all the way in and gently (but noticeably) put pressure up, towards the stomach, and then very slowly pull out,” she says. “Ask the receiver to let you know which areas feel good so you can identify where they craving stimulation.”

As the pussy continues to be turned on, as there’s more and more stimulation, different parts are going to feel more pleasure. Deeper areas of the pussy are going to be more receptive to being stimulated,” she continued. “The ruler is something that I do every time I first penetrate a pussy because I always want to know — do you want it deep, or do you want it more shallow, or maybe no penetration at all? It’s a really helpful way of allowing the receiver to start to ask for what they want as it opens up the door to communication.”

Sex toys are also a critical part of clitoral play. Queen recommends the infamous Magic Wand as “a clitoral toy par excellence.” (The device was formerly known as the Hitachi Magic Wand, but the name changed because Hitachi wanted nothing to do with all this clitoral stimulation talk.)

The vibrators with little rabbit heads are also a great way to power a pussy, and there are varieties that are similarly curvy and bunny-free.

“This kind of vibrator is intended to provide stimulation of both clitoris and vagina, all at one time,” Queen says. “That’s doubling up on pleasure.”

You can leave a pussy tickled pink with dedicated attention to the clitoris, cervix, and entire vaginal canal. These sexperts do advise a slow approach and deliberate examination, but you may find your partner gushing over the attention.

How to Eat Pussy Like a ChampSunday, Feb. 18, 2 p.m., and Sunday, April 8, 2 p.m., at the Center for Sex and Culture, 1349 Mission St. $90; TurnON.Love.

View Comments