The! Super! Bowl! Or Not! XLV Events in San Francisco

Can you tell I learned everything I know about Football from Varsity Blues?

Hey, it's the Super Bowl. Are you drunk yet? I'm not going to pretend with you, because I respect you more than that. I didn't know who was playing in the Super Bowl until last week, and when and if I watch it, it will largely be as an excuse to get hammered before noon, eat chicken wings, and make bets on how many of the commercials will feature rapping animals. (Educated guess: At least three.) But this will be largely to the dismay of my friends who are invested in the game, so here are some events that should make both the true sports fan and the belligerent hangers-on happy.

Third Annual Heavy Metal Chili Cookoff at Bottom of the Hill

There are only 25 slots available for this chili cookoff, so our guess is that you're SOL if you want to enter. (If you want to try your luck, though, email But you're cordially invited to bring contributions to this heavy metal potluck, where the panel of chili judges includes a James Beard winner! Fancy!

Bottom of the Hill, Free, 1 p.m. More info

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