The Whore Next Door: Harry Potter and the Virtual Finger Blaster

“Orbiting,” “signaling,” and “accenting” sound like the names of charms taught in Professor Flitwick's class at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but Emma Watson — the actress who brought the wizarding world's most beloved feminist icon, Hermione Granger, to the silver screen — can tell you they are not.

They are, in fact, masturbation techniques showcased on the sexual education platform, OMGYes, which the actress publicly endorsed during her recent interview with feminist leader Gloria Steinem.

Researchers from Indiana University's school of Public Health, in partnership with The Kinsey Institute, conducted in-depth interviews with more than 1,000 women about how they pleasure themselves, and created a site that would present this information to any adult with Internet access and $29.

The one-time fee gives users access to 50 videos of women talking about the techniques they use, as well as 11 explicit and interactive “touch videos” that allow the user to virtually explore how to pleasure a variety of women's bodies. Each of the touch videos is built around one individual woman's sensitivities, and responds with real-time feedback like “Just around the clit like that,” and “I'm close, I'm close! Stop for a second.”

The site is classified as educational, but I can't help but feel like I've been waiting my entire life for this kind of technology. Playing with a virtual vagina that responds with encouragement and instruction is something out of porno sci-fi dreamland.

Watson agrees, saying with a suggestive smile that the cost of the subscription is “worth it.”

I blushed hard, imagining her playing with a virtual pussy on the same tablet she used during her interview with porn-hating Gloria Steinem last month in front of hundreds of feminists in the U.K.

Though Steinem is a founder of modern-day feminism, she is also known for being vehemently outspoken about pornography. In 2014, she told Jennifer Aniston that “pornography is to women what Fascist literature was to Jews.” So it's understandable that Watson paused anxiously before interrogating Steinem about the topic.

Both women agreed that a world without porn “may be a long way off,” but Steinem hoped that “alternatives” are on the horizon.

Watson noticeably perked up at this idea: “Yes! We should be creating lots of awesome, great, alternatives to pornography.”

Perhaps she was referring to the virtual finger blasting she's been exploring?

However, as much as Watson may feel she has some kind of permission to access OMGYes because of its health and research focus, I imagine she's smart enough to realize that it too is just another genre of pornography — content intended to cause sexual excitement. Nothing more, nothing less.

Though Watson was far too polite ever to contradict Steinem, she seemed excited about the intersections of sexuality and feminism.

I can relate. Much of my pornographic career has been spent in the “feminist” genre, where women's pleasure is placed front and center.

Steinem has called for her own idea of acceptable “erotica” which she says portrays sex that is “mutual and pleasurable and not about domination, pain, violence, and humiliation.”

Now, of course violence is never acceptable in the bedroom, but domination, pain, and humiliation? Those are pillars of my kinky, feminist, consensual sex life.

In a world full of slut-shaming and the devaluation of women's bodies and pleasure, being able to ask for exactly what I want and get it has been a revelation.

Sometimes, I even get to do it on camera — although my “authentic” desires don't always fit into the soft-focused, non-threatening aesthetics associated with the “feminist” style.

Now that Watson has begun her search for “lots of awesome, great alternatives” to traditional pornography, perhaps she'll stumble across some of my work. (I have a feeling she may especially resonate with “Forbidden Curses,” the Harry Potter-themed role-playing scene I made in collaboration with feminist wizard nerds Ella Nova and Mia Li for GirlBulles.com.)

The Feminist Porn Awards just celebrated its 10th anniversary, and the Feminist Porn Book contains hundreds of pages of scholarly articles on the subject. It's truly baffling that these two intelligent, worldly women seem to have remained ignorant to the genre as a whole.

The portrayal of female pleasure onscreen has been done, and it's been done well — but it has yet to save the world from misogyny. The portrayal of “authentic female pleasure” doesn't matter so much in a world where poverty, racism, and the criminalization of sex work are still alive and well.

Soft-focused videos of female orgasms probably won't save us from patriarchy, but condemning one of the few industries where women are the top earners most certainly won't, either.

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