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Whore Next Door: When You're Good to Mama

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“For the next scene, the director says she wants you in something frumpy,” the photographer said, holding up a calf-length, floral skirt that appeared to be several sizes too large for me. I had packed my suitcase full of the usual porn outfits — matching bra and panty sets and a few simple “girl next door” looks — but when I arrived and looked at the script, I realized almost none of the wardrobe I had brought would work for the scene. I would be playing “Mommy.”

I was deep in rural New England on a porn shoot, one that, as I discovered upon arrival, would be my debut scene as a MILF. (For those who never saw American Pie or have somehow never watched porn, that's the sex world's acronym for “Mom I'd Like to Fuck.”) Though the genre is filled with super hot babes, I worried this officially meant I was beginning to age out of the sex industry.

There's not much that squicks me out when it comes to kinky sex, but being seen as someone's mom, or calling someone “Mommy” has historically given me the creeps.

It's not the taboo nature of this type of play; I'm fine with that. Domestic dominance and age-play are some of my favorite sexual activities — but “Mommy” has usually been off-limits for me.

It felt like only yesterday that the Internet was littered with porn scenes of me tagged as “young teen babe,” but the entertainment industry, porn included, is not kind to aging women. Even at a fresh-faced 30, I am faced with transitioning into a new genre of adult films.

I remember when I first started doing sex work at 24, my erotic massage clients were often men in their late 50s and beyond, attracted to the combination of youth and classic pin-up looks I was marketing. I quickly learned my journey into the sex industry would involve being naked with lots of old dudes, and I embraced it.

However, “Ruby,” a 45-year-old Jewish redhead who worked out of the same makeshift brothel that I did, seemed to see only clients who looked like One Direction drop-outs. I remember the green envy that swelled inside me as I watched her leading attractive, barely legal boys down the carpeted hallway while in the adjacent room, I turned tricks with men old enough to be my grandfather. I vowed then and there to stay in the industry long enough to cash in on the spoils of young, attractive clients and talent who one day would call me “Mommy.”

Now that the day has finally come, I don't know if I'm quite ready to swap pigtails for pearl earrings.

Back on set, I did my best to model through my frumpy floral skirt for the film's box-cover, but I couldn't help but feel like my MILF career had come all too quickly.

“The first time someone called me a MILF, I was 27,” my friend Tina assured me when I called her on a break between scenes. But I didn't entirely feel better.

However, my costars —18-year-old Aspen Brooks, and 24-year-old Chelsea Poe — were excited to role-play with me. As I dolled myself up in Coldwater Creek fashions, they made me feel like Mrs. Robinson, rather than a past-her-prime porn star.

Brooks casually called me “Mama” as we shared lip gloss, negotiated safer sex, and listened to Fetty Wap. Poe gave me doe eyes, telling me it would really turn her on if I called her a “good girl” during our scene. I decided that even though my MILF career had perhaps started prematurely, if it meant getting paid to hook up with adorable babes like Brooks and Poe, I was ready to embrace it with open arms.

Later, after we had wrapped shooting, I took the girls to Olive Garden for a celebratory dinner.

“Mama needs a glass of wine,” I said, giddy about my newfound sexual identity.

“I'm going to need to see some I.D., baby-face,” our waitress said, without batting an eye. I breathed a sigh of relief as I fished my driver's license from my purse.

The sex industry may now see me as middle-aged, but it's nice to know that at least at Olive Garden, I'm still barely legal.

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SF Weekly Staff

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