In the '80s coffee was funny ― Maxwell House, Yuban, Chock Full o'Nuts. They thought we were idiots. Perhaps we were: Only the best of us rejected the aluminum-tin allure of General Foods International Coffee. “It tastes like a candy cane dipped in Bosco!” gushed one comfortably seated lady in a 1982 commercial, and she was right.
The only people who really drank coffee at all were detectives. It was like watching middle-aged bachelors dress a baby. One would take a sip, blanch, look at his partner and say, “Bleh! Who made this coffee? You?” And his buddy would sigh, stare into his mug and mutter something heartbreaking about his murdered wife.