Dear semi-literates, similar to the Onion, this publication is a one-way conduit for information, and we appreciate your lack of daily input. How'd you like it if we came down to your place of business and were all like, 'You need to relax your jaw more. Do it slower. Sexier. Eww, your nose is leaking onto my dong!'
See, it's not nice.
However, we occasionally amuse ourselves with your feedback on the rare chance it penetrates our calloused, evil media hearts. We collect our faves for the week in a special post called, Kings of Commenting. —David Downs
We said, Japanese food ads are red-iculous.
i nearly peed my pants when i saw this video, and i'm pretty sure my children will have nightmares about dancing dogs forcing them to eat Japanese potato chips encoded into their DNA just from me having seen this, but it made laugh, and it's not just because i've been up all night. well maybe it is, but it was still funny. 'CONsoomay, CONsoomay, CONsoomay PunchEE'
We said, tight pants are winning their war on tortured ball sacks.
Re: tight pants war. Perhaps it's a good thing tight pants are coming back in the world of music, because let's be honest: Musicians are a tragically misguided and depraved group of people. I mean that in the best possible way, since I like to consider myself to be something of a soft musician, but let's be serious for a second. Do we really want these melody-tortured miscreants breeding? Probably not. (and I surely put myself in this category)
Luckily the tight pants will go a long way toward keeping said population from creating too many equally misguided children.
Who knew Darwin's natural selection would be delivered through mutations in fashion? I think he would be proud.