On Wednesdays, We Drink Unicorns

Starbucks' new unicorn frappuccino isn't all sunshine and rainbows.

SF Weekly’s food trend expert taste-tests the initial unicorn flavors. (Credit: Jessica Christian)

Since Starbucks swung open its doors Wednesday morning, the internet has been all aflutter with articles taste-testing the brand new “Unicorn Frappuccino® Blended Crème.” Starbucks describes the pink creamy goo as follows: “Magical flavors start off sweet and fruity transforming to pleasantly sour. Swirl it to reveal a color-changing spectacle of purple and pink. It’s finished with whipped cream-sprinkled pink and blue fairy powders.”

But the real kicker is this: “Here for a few days only.” Put on your running shoes, readers, and prepare to stand in line, because everyone in the city loves a time-sensitive limited edition. 

SF Weekly recruited a food-trend expert to taste-test this fabled creation: Marnie Schleicher. Here’s what she had to say. 

_______________________________________________________________________________

Going to try Starbucks’ new Unicorn Frappuccino was the highlight of my day. After reading that it would be sweet and tangy, I knew that I had to taste it. Fortunately, SF Weekly is all about testing out odd food trends, so I went down to the Starbs across the street from the office to see what all the fuss was about. 

When I got the drink I was in awe of the bright pink color with blue swirls, and I really didn’t want to disturb the matching glitter that sat atop the whipped cream. I carefully inserted the straw in order to preserve the sparkly magic, then stepped outside into the sun so I could take some photos for my Instagram, because this drink will definitely get you more than a few likes.

My first sip was pleasantly surprising. I got hints of mango, but nothing super heavy or overwhelming. Was this what a unicorn is supposed to taste like? Is this why Voldemort was always drinking them? I have a lot of questions.

The drink is supposed to change from sweet to tart, which is essentially why I wanted to try it, so about a quarter of the way through my drink I started to wonder when that would happen. With one shift of the straw, I hit a new flavor, and thought “this is it.”

But whatever that flavor is supposed to be, it isn’t a good one. Is it possible for a mouth to be sad? Because I’m pretty sure my mouth was actually sad. It was tart, definitely. But it wasn’t tart in a nice way. I tried to go back to the sweet mango, but it was too late. I had already mixed the drink and there was no going back. I was left with a purple-ish mess of kinda-tart-kinda-sweet flavor that wasn’t very enticing. 

Now it’s sitting on my desk, melting into a sad, puddle of what had once been full of promise and cheer.

Maybe this is one unicorn that should have remained a myth.

 

View Comments