UPDATED: Tuesday Thirteen: The Lone Star Saloon Gets Protection

Carnitas (with Szechuan cabbage, salsa cruda, and pickled watermelon rind) at Through the Kitchen Window, a monthly pop-up held last evening at PizzaHacker. (Peter Lawrence Kane)

Plus, Almanac Beer Co. will open a tap room, Dunkin’s Donuts hits Half Moon Bay, and is the five-second rule legit?

Motze Debuts, Inside Bar Tartine for Now
Named for a Chinese philosopher from 2,500 years ago, Nick Balla and Cortney Burns of Bar Tartine will shortly open a restaurant concept called Motze. Details are a bit scarce at this point, but as the duo hunts for a permanent space, you can sample the future restaurant’s food in the form of a $58 family-style meal on Monday evenings inside Bar Tartine (561 Valencia). For its part, Bar Tartine will eventually become Crescent, completing the ownership transition after Chad Robertson and Elisabeth Prueitt of Tartine sold it off.

Almanac Beer to Open Tap Room This Fall
And speaking of places we’re excited about but which don’t yet have addresses, Almanac Beer Co. will open a tap room at a location they’re currently keeping under wraps. Announced on Instagram in a nod to Stranger Things, it couldn’t be more timely.

The Lone Star Saloon Wins Legacy Status
Although the struggles of the SoMa gay bar The Stud have won lots of attention, the nearby Lone Star Saloon (1354 Harrison) has been fighting a quieter battle to stay alive. Owner Tony Huerta posted a Facebook status update yesterday from the steps of City Hall noting that the 27-year-old bear bar is officially a Legacy Business — a program that came into existence through 2015’s Prop J, which Huerta was a strong advocate for. It’s more carrot than stick, of course, since the market will do what the market will do, but the Examiner reports that the city will now offer the landlord compensation for extending the bar a long-term lease — as long as the place remains the same, inside and out. That means the pennies on the floor and the queer in-joke vanity plates on the walls have to stay, but anything that secures the future of a trough urinal is all right by me.

UPDATED Lolinda and El Techo Still Closed  Opening Tonight After a Fire
A small kitchen fire forced Argentinian steakhouse Lolinda (2518 Mission) and its companion rooftop bar El Techo (2516 Mission) to close over the weekend, and Inside Scoop reports that El Techo opens tonight. Lolinda is not yet open neither one has yet to reopen.

An Artist Named “SoMa Chef” Makes Art out of Syringes, Shattered Windshield Glass, and Poo
I applaud Hoodline for going here, but it’s definitely gross. The “SoMa Corndog” is, like, outsider art, y’know?

Mazza Luna Closes
Hoodline reports that the Lebanese tapas place and wine bar Mazza Luna has been closed for some time. Van Ness is a tough street for a restaurant — 12 blocks up is San Francisco’s ultimate cursed space — but it won’t stay vacant for long, as Hinata Sushi is set to go in.

Dunkin’ Donuts Comes to Half Moon Bay Monday
Already sitting pretty in Walnut Creek, the doughnut chain continues its plan to encircle San Francisco with retail locations by opening another Dunkin’ Donuts at 120 San Mateo Road in Half Moon Bay Monday morning. If you’re among the first people standing in line at 6 a.m. when it opens, you’ll get free food and $100 gift cards.

…Also, Bojangle’s Has Plans to Open in California
In the Buzzfeed-iest article that Business Insider may ever have published, it notes that Bojangle’s, the better-than-KFC-and-less-controversial-than-Chik-fil-A chain based in the Carolinas that’s famous for its biscuits, may soon open in California.

Obama Signs the DARK Act, Undoing State Anti-GMO Laws
It stands for Denying Americans the Right to Know, and Pres. Obama signed it into law rather quietly. Calling it an “embarrassment,” Salon notes that it “nullified the GE seed labeling laws in Vermont and Virginia that allowed farmers to choose what seeds they wanted to buy and plant. And for good measure he preempted Alaska’s law requiring the labeling of any GE fish or fish product, passed to protect the state’s vital fisheries from contamination by recently approved genetically engineered salmon.” The FDA was against it, as were a majority of Democratic senators, and yet Obama did it anyway.

Odious Right-Winger With Ugly Name Loses Control of a Brewery
Nope, it’s not the Coors family. Phyllis Schlafly, the 92-year-old conservative with the least euphonious surname in the world, thought she was so famous that an attempt to trademark a brewery with the same name would be riding on her coattails. The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports that patent office did not agree, and Schlafly Beer is free to soar skyward.

1,007 Dancing Robots at a Chinese Beer Festival
The Qingdao Beer Festival is known as the Asian Oktoberfest, and this year it featured 1,007 dancing robots. Gizmodo called the formation creepy, but I don’t really like robots and I think it’s adorable.

Is the Five-Second Rule True?
Vice inquires and finds that the risks of getting sick from eating something you dropped on the floor are low for healthy adults, and also that the “five-second” part is has no basis in reality. One thing to note: Although my totally not scientific gut feeling tells me it’s grosser to eat food that fell on the carpet than food that fell on the kitchen floor, apparently way more bacteria jump from wood and tile than from a carpeted surface.

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