Soyl-urpie Time? Soylent Now Sold in 7-Eleven - December 14, 2017 - SF Weekly
SF Weekly

Soyl-urpie Time? Soylent Now Sold in 7-Eleven

Courtesy of Soylent

Soylent, the gastrointestinally disruptive innovation named for a 1970s B-movie about industrialized cannibalism on a dying planet, marked its latest venture-backed foray into the fast-paced, forward-thinking world of the 21st-century food revolution by partnering with 7-Eleven.

It’s a nimble move for the ready-to-swallow meal-replacement substance that actually tastes like a combination of breast milk and Ensure. Parent company Rosa Foods announced that the chalky, beige slurry will soon share shelf space with Doritos and glistening hot dogs at more than 800 7-Elevens in Portland, Seattle, L.A., and the Bay Area, all of which are also home to food.

“We’re thrilled to come full circle with Soylent’s retail debut in the Bay Area. Expanding into the market where the Company was founded and has so many loyal supporters is really special,” Soylent CEO Bryan Crowley said of the foodstuff surrogate, whose snack-bar manifestation encountered some issues in 2016 when users reported widespread vomiting, which was ultimately blamed on lab-grown algae. “Our success with an innovative company like 7-Eleven has provided us with an invaluable outlet to reach anyone who is looking to fuel their day with a complete, sustainable, and affordable meal.”

Soylent is made out of soy protein, algal oil, and somaltulose! It’s somaltulose!

Also reported today was the news that Taco Bell is now selling tacos whose shell is made of Doritos bags, although that was satire from The Onion and this is not. Currently, Soylent comes in four flavors, including Cacao, Cafe Coffiest, Cafe Vanilla, and Cafe Chai. No word yet on when we can maybe get our paws on a Soyl-urpie.