Rich, poor, or aspirational middle-class, pretty much everybody loves a good French fry. Even noted health-school-lunch advocate and fit power-mom Michelle Obama describes herself as an “addict.”
From curd-and-gravy slathered poutine to elegant pomme frites to tater-matrix waffle fries to tangled-up double-helixes of spicy curly fries to the often-despised crinkle-cut things you get on the boardwalk, there’s an entire ecosystem of fried spuds out there. So Broke-Ass Stuart, a noted discount hedonist and inveterate consumer of late-night fries as a desperate attempt to re-achieve some semblance of sobriety, will put on a French Fry Fest at SoMa StrEat Food Park next Saturday, July 8.
From 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., fry boys and fry gals will be escorted through a golden-brown wonderland of elongated potato chunks and wedges. Tickets start at $5 for general entry — and admission is free for “small fries” under age 10 — but for $35, you get unlimited beer and sangria at the bar. As the venue is SoMa’s premiere gathering spot for food trucks and other mobile eateries, expect a good deal of variety from outlets like Adam’s Grub Truck, Me So Hungry Too, It’s All Gravy, Bobcha, No No Burger, The Sarap Shop, and Gyros on Wheels. (Non-fry-specific vendors supplying additional caloric intake that might not involve a bath in hot vegetable oil or tallow include Firetrail Pizza , Kokio Republic , Torraku Ramen, Post St. Creamery, and Nucha Empanadas .) And there will be a DJ keeping your peristalsis humming along.
Forever consigned to be play second fiddle beneath the unending supremacy of the burger, it’s about time fries took center stage — and not just because Mickey D’s cashed in on Pride Month with rainbow cartons. Take it to the limit by entering into the French-fry-eating contest and see how many you can cram into your gullet. Everybody knows the good life is achieved by feasting day and night at the apex of the food pyramid.
So put some French’s mustard on your French fries while French-kissing your friend Frenchy at the French Fry Fest, and you’re gonna explode. OK, sorry for the dad joke. I haven’t had any fries yet today, Ore-Ida done better.
French Fry Fest, Saturday, July 8, 11 a.m. – 5 p.m., at SoMa StrEat Food Park, 428 11th St., $5-$35, frenchfryfest.eventbrite.com.