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Thursday, March 17, 2011

Twitter Can Get You Laid

Posted By on Thu, Mar 17, 2011 at 7:30 AM

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My question is short and sweet: Can Twitter help get me laid?

~Cheep Thrills

Strangely, while tweets of a sexual nature come up fairly regularly on Twitter, there aren't a ton of explicit references to sex on the popular microblogging site, whose fifth birthday is coming up next week. Happy birthday, you dirty bird! A recent search for the word "sex" on Twitter yielded things from AIDS stats to the "Birthday Sex" song to single-sex parents, as well as your more garden variety punctuation-less missives about "dick-tits." In unrelated news, I'm so glad the Library of Congress is recording these cultural nuggets for future generations to ponder and/or die of contact-shame. Since people have no problem discussing their bowel movements and other TMI news, it seemed strange that people wouldn't be talking about making tweet love a lot more often. So I did a little digging to see if I could find anything worthwhile.

There are, naturally, quite a few erotica sites, like Twitillate and the Eroticist, as well as, I'm sure you know, lots and lots of spammy porn, webcam girls, and Russian brides in case you "requisite a crumpet to accompany." An adult social networking site based in Amsterdam that was formerly called Twatr, now Twexxx, sounded promising, and it claimed to be an "Adult Twitter Site that allows you to post adult related topics and images." But it was under construction, so I couldn't get any further than that. Tweases.

There's another site called Twitter Sex (NSFW), which purports to combine microblogging, location check-ins, and cock shots. I'm not entirely sure how this is different from plain ol' Twitter, nor am I sure why a feed of laser bunion removal posts assaulted me upon entering the site. Seriously. There were even pictures!

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Out of curiosity I clicked on one of their "popular" users, SluttySlave87, only to be greeted by an extreme labial close up, and the following "shout" from her, which is that site's term for a tweet: "i'm so horny...need to get f*ck by cocks." Thankfully, I happen to be bi-penile, so this is going to work out really well for both of us, methinks.

If you want to go the more mainstream route to sex, a few Twitter dating sites exist, such as Plenty of Tweeps, DateTwit, and Love@FirstTweet. But such sites typically have the shelf life of your standard Twitter feed if anything can be gleaned from previous dating sites like TwitCrush, Flirt140, MyTweetHeart, and Radaroo, which have disappeared just as quickly as they started.

I'm also not exactly sure what the incentive is for joining one of these Twitter dating sites, unless you are on Twitter so often that your brain can no longer function long enough to write the few paragraphs required in online dating profiles. Of course, the pool is usually wider on Twitter than it is on other social media sites, but it's also much harder to vet a stranger that way. Also, you get one tiny avatar picture to deduce what a potential hook-up might look like, as opposed to the hundreds of wank-able pictures you get on Facebook. However, I will say this: Facilitating sex on Twitter is possible. I was successful exactly one time. Read my previous post on Twitter flirting to learn more tips on seduction in 140 characters or less. And take heart! If people are hooking up via World of Warcraft, then by God, you too can tweet your way to sexual congress!

Social-media mistress Anna Pulley likes to give advice about how to play well with others on the internets. If you have a question about etiquette involving technology, shoot her a question at AskAnnaSF@gmail.com.

Follow us on Twitter: @annapulley and @ExhibitionistSF
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Anna Pulley

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