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Thursday, November 17, 2011

Seven Awful Things Ann Coulter Just Said About Occupy Wall Street

Posted By on Thu, Nov 17, 2011 at 5:00 PM

click to enlarge The world does not exist unless Ann Coulter coats it in awfulness.
  • The world does not exist unless Ann Coulter coats it in awfulness.

Ann Coulter's job is to say as many awful things as she can in the increasingly tiny slices of media time that she is afforded. Currently, she's peddling her book on talk radio stations around the country and probably wishing the folks at Fox would call her more often.

This morning, she telephoned Bryan Sussman at KSFO, San Francisco's official media home for people who complain all day that their views have no media home. As you might expect, they talked about her book (SPOILER: The villain is liberals!) as well as the Occupy movement. A total pro, she managed to say at least seven awful things in her twenty minutes:

1. "I knew there would be mob uprisings again. They are demonic."

2. "What I like most about them is that they have no point."

3. "At the protest in Tel Aviv in Israel, they set up guillotines in the square. And you have the computer-generated voice speaking on behalf of Occupy Wall Street saying 'The voice of the people is anonymous. We are legion, for we are many' - directly from the demon in scripture."

4. "I guess it's fun to destroy stuff. As they found out during the French Revolution, it's lots of fun to just start randomly murdering people - this is the way it always is with mobs."

5. "Maybe it will take down a government, but it will be Obama's government."

6. "Remember the lesson from my book: It just took a few shootings at Kent State to shut that down for good."

7. After Sussman declared that he wished that the arrested Bank of America occupiers had been thrown in with the general population of prisoners, and then admitted that he did not know whether or not they had, Coulter compared the "special treatment" the protesters receive at the hands of police to that of French aristocrats who brought along servants when imprisoned. NOTE: This is too stupid to transcribe.

Also, when mentioning Bill Ayers's "homosexual lover," Coulter said "homosexual" with the same sneering disbelief that cowboys in picante sauce commercials apply to "New York City." And mentioning Bill Ayers's "homosexual lover" during a conversation about Occupy Wall Street is just as relevant as me right now mentioning, say, that chunky kid from The Bad News Bears -- the original, not the remake. What ever happened to him?

(HE WAS PROBABLY GUILLOTINED BY OCCUPY WALL STREET.)

Finally, because she's a pro, Coulter laughed politely at the morning-talk dumbassery of Sussman and company, who made a game of coining new names for the Occupy crowd: "Occu-peers," "defocrats," "Communist Republic of American People."

This proves yet again that outrage is easier than comedy.

-- Follow Alan Scherstuhl on Twitter at @studiesincrap, SF Weekly's Exhibitionist blog at @ExhibitionistSF and like us on Facebook.

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Alan Scherstuhl

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