Right off the bat, let's take on the Swarovski Crystal elephant in the room: The fact that Jeffrey was not eliminated.
Jeffrey, the same dude who survived elimination last week "by the skin of his teeth," to quote the judges, for his ridiculous avant-garde homage to granny's table lamp. Jeffrey, who in the very first episode admitted he was rusty and hadn't sewn anything himself in years. Jeffrey, who already won his entire season yet was brought back rather unfairly to compete with talented people who hadn't. Yeah, that Jeffrey.
Let's start with his dress, which looked like he draped the upholstery from the adjoining lamp's sofa and cinched it in the middle. He chose some velourish crap which might've looked good if he had played up the inherent dorkiness of it by making a socko, futuristic cocktail dress instead of Flubsy McGee's Heald College graduation frock. His sketch for it was incredible, which speaks to the fact that he's successful enough now to simply come up with a concept and have someone else execute it. He's lost his hands-on mojo. "Jeffrey, you won your season and proved yourself a great designer... in the past," said Alyssa Milano. Ouch! "But being an All Star isn't about the past. You talk a good talk, but your designs need to speak for themselves." This felt particularly cruel, seein' as he was about to be eliminated. Why kick the poor man while he is down?
Surely Melissa's cute but predictable dress would win out over He With The Neck Tattoos.
Even the lower-left bottom screen viewer polling had him as the favorite to go. What in the fuck is going on here? Why does he get two breaks and designers doing a better job are not? Something happened behind the scenes with the producers on this one, and I for one have pathetic enough of a life to get incensed about it. To top it all off, we all had to watch Alyssa's annoying faux sternness: "Stop making excuses and start showing results." Aye aye cap'n! Now Who's The Boss?!