Repeat after us: "We've got spirit, yes we do. We've got spirit, yes we do. We've got spirit, yes we do."
Now take a deep breath and start again but really mean it this time because we won't stop until you're all red, white and blue in the face with patriotism.
We can't hear you, but most importantly, the folks at WalletHub can't hear you which is probably why they ranked San Francisco as 48 in their recent list of the best and worst cities to celebrate the Fourth of July.
While we're hanging out in the lower section of the list, Oakland ranks fourth on the list. In fact, California proves most popular in the top 10 with Irvine, Fremont, San Bernardino, Long Beach and Riverside all invited to the parade alongside top pick Richmond, VA.
So how'd San Francisco miss the mark this time?
San Francisco ranks fifth for weather forecast, 37th for attractions and outdoor activities and 92nd for entertainment and food. All of that randomness equals a 48th place finish.
The solution for a better placement next year is simple. Just go out and let your American freak flag fly high in the sky with these four uniquely San Francisco events. Did we mention they're free?
1. July 4th Free Hot Dog Day & "Hot Dog Queen" Contest at Frankenart Mart (1:00 p.m.)
Step aside Lady Liberty and make room for the Hot Dog Queen. The wiener, we mean, winner will be immortalized in a hot dog souvenir upon coronation. Relish the opportunity, ladies.
2. SF Mime Troupe Opening Day at Dolores Park (1:30 p.m.)
We can't celebrate our nation's independence without getting a little political and we wouldn't be America without a sense of humor. Join the Tony award-winning troupe for an afternoon of socially relevant theater and satire with the premiere of their latest Ripple Effect.
3. 4th of July San Francisco Bike Party: Patriotic Ride to the Fireworks
Hopefully this will be the one day when bicyclists and pedestrians won't have to worry about a hit-and-run. Most likely that won't be the case but we have a dream that one day all San Francisco roads will be safe and sound. Until then, wear a helmet that's heavily decorated with American iconography. Check out their Facebook page for more info on the secret location.
4. 4th of July Roller Disco Party & Fireworks Viewing at Embarcadero
We're fans of roller disco here at SF Weekly. Just ask the GodFather of Skate when you see him Friday night.
For other events, check out our calendar page.