Last night's Top Chef: All-Stars had some major attitude. It went from a rock star (okay, a Jonas brother) to children to dinosaurs to a former host to a megabitch.
The Quickfire Challenge: Create a midnight snack for kids. Joe Jonas would be the judge, and later the surprise guest at the American Museum of Natural History's Night at the Museum sleepover with 150 kids.
The surprise was that there was no winner ― it was a tie between Spike and Tiffani F. Spike made potato and carrot chips with mascarpone and marshmallow dips. Tiffani made a snack that she described as a threesome between a snowball, a moon pie, and a Rice Krispies treat. There was only one solution: The kids had to pick the winner, which meant Spike and Tiffani had to make snacks for all with the help of their fellow all-stars. The two finalists picked teams almost along gender lines. According to Dale L. it was like the Spice Girls with bodyguards (himself and Tre) versus the cool guys with a babysitter (Carla).
If you thought sugar made kids go wild, we had to turn down the volume when Joe Jonas came out. Surprise, surprise ― the kids chose chocolate over vegetables and Tiffani F. was the winner.
The Elimination Challenge began right after the winner was revealed. The cheftestants wanted a beer and a nap but what they got was a challenge, to make breakfast for the kids and their parents using only what was in the museum's kitchen. The twist: Make a breakfast inspired by a dinosaur's diet. One team was Tyrannosaurus rex (carnivore) and the other was the Brontosaurus (herbivore). Tiffani's team chose T. rex, duh, bacon and eggs.
When they arrived in the kitchen, the herbivore team seemed more excited, since it had herbs, grains, and a bounty of produce to work with. The carnivore team had only meat, dairy, and eggs.
Jamie cut her thumb and left the challenge to get stitches. When she returned with only two tiny stitches the other cheftestants thought she was a wuss. Speaking of cutting drama, Marcel was pissed that Angelo and Carla sliced the plums on his dish.
The guest judge here was the host of Top Chef's first season, old blank eyes herself and former wife to Billy Joel, Katie Lee. Team Brontosaurus won the challenge ― the banana parfait created by Angelo, Marcel, and Richard won top honor.
Team T. rex was carnivorous as all hell when they went to the judges' table. Jen was a Tyrannosaurus bitch; she actually said, "You guys are smart enough, you're the judges" later yelling that all of her food was seasoned perfectly, a point she'd fight to the death over. That's exactly what she did ― she packed her knives and left, screaming and yelling.