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Friday, April 1, 2011

Martha Stewart Thinks Beef Is Gross, Silk Thinks You Should Lay Off the Cow Teet

Posted By on Fri, Apr 1, 2011 at 10:08 AM

click to enlarge vegan2.jpg

SFoodie's roundup of tips, news, and rants from the week in animal-free eats.

• Vegansaurus' Megan Rascal went to the live taping of Martha Stewart's vegan show. She sat front row like the baller she is, and watched Twitter cofounder Biz Stone and rich-bitch vegan (mean this in best way possible, I'm totally aspiring) Kathy Freston make nice with Martha about all things vegan. AND THEN, after the show, Martha told the studio audience some scandalous shit about how gross beef is and how she's not eating it anymore. I hope the beef industry doesn't go loco on her the way they did Oprah. I mean, who has the balls big enough and the pockets deep enough to sue mother-effing Oprah? WHAT DOES THAT TELL YOU ABOUT THESE PEOPLE?? Jesus Christ, she's OPRAH. Anyway, Megan's recap is delightful and includes sexy shots of Martha, and a pic of all the swag she got as an audience member. Sweet!

click to enlarge Tell it, gurrl! - NRKBETA/FLICKR

Silk is challenging people to switch from cow mucus dairy to soy, coconut, and almond milks (preferably their brand because DUH they ain't stupid) for 10 days. This could be what pushes some vegetarians into our open vegan arms. Pushed up against our large vegan breasts. Take the bait, fools! Plus, coconut milk creamer in your coffee is delish!

• California voters! Get off your ass and get on the horn to your state Senator to support SB 917, which not only bans the sale of animals in certain areas but also tightens up the penalties for animal abuse. The bill would prohibit puppies and kittens from being sold out of boxes in the supermarket parking lot because FUCK THAT. Marji Beach from Animal Place farm sanctuary has your instructions over at Vegansaurus!

• Roger Feely, the genius behind Soul Cocina, is moving. We'll miss his amazing vegan cooking, and his willingness and genuine interest in catering to the vegans of San Francisco. Our loss is Chicago's gain! May the Second City greet you with open arms and a wind-chill factor of 30 below so your ass comes running back and makes me some damn papadums!

• PETA wants Mayor Ed Lee to rename the Tenderloin to the Tempeh District. I don't really have anything to say about this except as far as PETA's stunts go, it's pretty tame and fairly entertaining. Personally, I'd rename the Tenderloin to somehow reference urine, crack, and sexy massage parlors. Maybe Sexy Piss Rock? Or maybe just call it Summer Place because it has a nice ring and that's the best bar on EARTH.

• Animal Planet is going to air a show about Vegan Treats, a vegan bakery in Pennsylvania. I am very excited about this because Vegan Treats makes the most bomb stuff, it's ridiculous. Everything about this show looks rad, especially the fact that it's crappy reality TV. Man, I love crappy reality TV. Did you know that MTV's Teen Mom is encouraging lots of girls in the city it's shot in to get preggers? For real, girls are getting knocked up to be on the show. The American Dream!

• You hate culture, right? Well then head to Sacramento this Saturday, April 2, for the Sacramento Vegan Bakesale! I kid, Sacramento has things besides a high per-capita crack rate. They've got vegan bakeries! And an all vegan store! And a vegan bake sale for Japan! Seriously, it'll be a bitching road trip so do it to it.

click to enlarge This is good. Period. - ED U./YELP
  • Ed U./Yelp
  • This is good. Period.

• I picked my favorite veggie burgers in the Bay Area. It is a highly scientific list, and must be treated as fact. If you disagree with my selections, it is because you are wrong.

• Remember Mission Burger? Oh man, I was a lunatic for their vegan burger, all edamame and kale and chickpeas and deep-fried deliciousness. Well, I've got the recipe, and as long as you have the thousand or so ingredients and a deep fryer, you're in the patties!

• In France, some crazies starved their 11-month-old baby to death because they only fed breast milk. This is just a horrendously sad story and to make it even worse, these motherfuckers are vegan. Great. They also didn't bathe their baby and treated her bronchitis with poultices of cabbage, mustard oil, and camphor. So this is less of a vegan thing, and more of a FUCKING CRAZY thing. Repeat after me: NOTHING to do with veganism, everything to do with crazy. Also, you know what's cute? Adorable fat vegan babies! Of which there are a lot! Let's get to kidnapping*!

• This Sunday, April 3, I'm speaking at the Confronting Compassion Fatigue workshop held by Harvest Home Sanctuary. It's at U.C. Berkeley (I'm a fancy academic!), and I'll be talking out of my ass about how to save the world and not die trying. No, no, I have flash cards and a prepared talk and I've been sweating balls about it for weeks now so if you're in town, please come and let's be friends together!

• If you'd rather head down south (excuse YOU!) this Saturday, go the Santa Cruz Vegan Bakesale. I really love Santa Cruz, just don't go too far into the woods, because that's where shit gets real. They've got Sasquatch! And serial killers! Okay, don't read that, I'm really freaked out now. Anyway, bake sale! Yay!

Time magazine publishes an article about veganism that isn't negative. Alert the press! Oh, wait.

• And finally, Anthony Bourdain goes vegan!!!!

*APRIL FOOL'S! I wouldn't actually kidnap a baby!!

Laura Beck is a founding editor of Vegansaurus and tweets at @mrpenguino. Follow SFoodie at @SFoodie, and like us on Facebook.

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