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Friday, July 15, 2011

Sexist Milk Ads and Calves Too Cute to Eat: The Week in Vegan

Posted By on Fri, Jul 15, 2011 at 2:50 PM

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The Milk Board strikes again with another dumbass campaign! And this time it's sexist, to boot! The ads imply directly state that when women are PMS-ing, they become total psychos, and the only way to pacify the beast is to ply them with cow's milk. This is like in the 1920s when ladies were given vibrators to calm their hysteria, except the science is less sound. Please excuse me while I call my boyfriend 52 times to leave voicemails where I'm crying, sobbing, screaming, or talking about chocolate. ACK!

Vanity Fair, which I just typed as Veganity Fair, to show you how truly insane I am, has an excellent piece up on how fucked elephants are because of our ungodly lust for stupid-ass ivory. It's really disturbing and sad that those poor, amazing elephants are dying so some awful rich idiots can have more tacky shit in their houses. IT ALL JUST MAKES ME SO MAD I HAVE TO RESORT TO CAPS LOCK AND CUTTING.

• From the annals of self-promotion comes a bit on my piece in The Bold Italic about attending a Vegan Hacker SF party and hacking the shit out of some corn-dogs. Go read it -- I'm very charming, and also, CORN DOGS = DELICIOUS. Oh! And then come to the next Vegan Hacker event -- they are so fun, and filled with sexy people for you to date! Seriously: Vegan Hacker SF is the new Marina Safeway/Castro Safeway, datingwise. Sex sells!

  • Animal Place

• Animal Place, one of the great rescued farm animal sanctuaries in our great(ish) state, just saved two male calves from slaughter and has the cutest damn pictures and stories up. UGH THEY ARE SO CUTE I COULD JUST SQUEEZE THEM TO DEATH WITH MY LOVE! Except not really, because they are awesome and get to live out the rest of their lives in big open fields with kisses and rainbows and sunshine and puppy dog unicorn kisses. What can I say? I'm stupid for babies and I'm not ashamed I HAVE OVARIES DEAL WITH IT. Yay, Animal Place!

• Yo! Vegans who hate your feet but need to look sexy! Ecouterre has a round-up of seven summer sandals. Go get PAID, girl!

• James McWilliams has an excellent piece in the "we think we're so fancy and smart and we are but we're mainly HELLA BORING and Laura will never work for us in a million years so TALK SHIT ALL YOU WANT, SISTER" Atlantic about how conscientious carnivores are really hypocrites or vegetarians in the making. Well, it's not as simple as all that, but what did you come here for, Cliffs Notes? Oh, that's right, yes, so, mainly he's like: If you care about animals at all, then you don't eat them, because no matter how great you think their idyllic farm life is, it all still ends in the same fucked-up bloody slaughter. No animal wants to die, they just want to be left alone, or cuddled (that's what I'm here for!). Anyway, read it, it's a strong piece, and before you sit down to your next meaty meatenstein meal at Blue Plate feeling all good about eating the right kind of corpse, you might as well come to terms with the death on your plate and the fact that it doesn't want to be there. And you can hashtag that bit of business: #RealTalk.

Shark fishing is banned in the Bahamas! Woohoo! Now we all have yet another reason to move there and leave this freezing-in-July bullshit behind!

The East Bay Vegan Bakesale is coming! Can you bake? Yeah you can! Holler at the ladies and let them know about your award-winning vegan brownies, or suffer the wrath of my award-winning vegan knuckle sandwich. I joke: You're great, but really, you should bake. So fun!

Starbucks added a vegan meal to its summer menu roster. Woohoo! Between this and its specialty holiday beverages, Starbucks is making it really hard for me to support the little guy. I KID I ONLY DRINK COFFEE AT RITUAL BLUE BOTTLE FOUR BARREL hehehe is it hot in here?!

• Did you know that Bones on Bones is vegan!? She is! And she's hella preggers, and being vegan and healthy and awesome during her pregnancy. The only thing left for Emily Deschanel to do is be my best friend and then she'll be perfect!

Laura Beck is a founding editor of Vegansaurus! and tweets at mrpenguino.
Follow SFoodie on Twitter: @SFoodie, and like us on Facebook.

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Laura Beck


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