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Friday, August 26, 2011

Chilean Sea Bass Isn't Sustainable, PETA Plans a Porn Site, and Make Us Vegan S'Mores Pocket Pies Already!

Posted By on Fri, Aug 26, 2011 at 11:40 AM

click to enlarge VeganWeek_thumb_560x100.jpg

• No Worries, the vegan Filipino restaurant in Oakland, is closing its doors on Sept. 1 and transitioning to a food truck. I'm bummed because I won't be able to get delicious pancit at pretty much every hour, but on the other hand, I love to eat standing up in a parking lot surrounded by millions of assholes so hey, yay food trucks!

More than 20% of dead Chilean Sea Bass that's marked as sustainable actually isn't! Quelle surprise! Seriously, all these people out to make the oceans "sustainable" via murdering fish more sustainably are just kidding themselves. There will always be fuck-ups when it comes to killing en masse. The only way to guarantee that your fish isn't actually endangered? Not eating it! What's the deal? Is eating fish strictly a diet thing? All these heifers on their creepy paleoatkins diets ordering steamed salmon and eating two bites before they're all, "I'm full!" Lies, heifers! LIES! Eat seven baked potatoes and two cakes and we'll talk in the morning.

• Dr. Michael Gregor started a website called Nutrition Facts. Sexy name, sexier content! Get science-based, fact-based info on all things nutrition from a doctor who actually knows stuff about nutrition. Unlike 99% (guesstimate) of doctors who receive like 4 hours of nutrition training in their entire schooling and then go around dispensing advice like they're experts. What a racket! My 2,000-year-old former physician was actually worried that I'd die from lack of cheeseburgers, after my blood work came back perfect. What a world!

click to enlarge You can have our fish! It's not ours anyway. - CLICKGREEN
  • ClickGreen
  • You can have our fish! It's not ours anyway.

Otters are back in English rivers! Yay! After near extinction because of hunting and pollution, the otters' return means the rivers are the healthiest they've been in years. Now, if they could just stop eating all those fish, don't they know all the fish are for humans? We didn't evolve to the top of the heap to just let other animals live in peace, JEEZ!

PETA is gonna launch a porn site. They're ready to get even sexier with it/make me puke with embarrassment!

Some guy on Salon.com said that vegan meat products are stupid. He's stupid! People who are just like, "If you miss meat so much, then just eat meat!" are forgetting that most people who stop eating meat aren't doing so because they hate the taste of it. They're doing so because they hate the whole "killing a living being just for my dinner" thing. And for those who bitch about how processed it is: DON'T EAT IT! And also, do you want to know what went into that chicken breast of yours? Because it ain't exactly natural!

• Have you all seen Questlove's website where he talks about his impressions of all the celebrities he's met? Because it's currently the best thing on the Internet. My favorite one changes about every five minutes, but I'm obsessed with his take on Erykah Badu, who is vegan and apparently sexually irresistible. WELCOME TO THE CLUB, LADY! Anyway, he talks about all the things they did during one of her recording sessions and it involves eating a lot of saatan [sic] [also, how seitan should be spelled], almond milk, and whole foods. And what that, I'm off to crack the flux capacitor so I can time travel back to 1996.

A mama bear killed her cub and then herself so both of them didn't have to be tortured on a bile farm anymore. Humans abused her to a point that she'd rather kill her baby and then herself so they didn't have to live in hell any longer. I honestly can't type about this without crying, the whole thing is so massively fucked up and sad. Anyway, you can read this post to figure out how to help stop this, sign this petition, or maybe even you could be the person to actually put an end to it. Seriously, one person could do it, and maybe that's you? I will totally help with publicity and being loud as shit and never stop talking about it, so set it up and then let's get it done.

Make me these vegan s'mores pocket pies immediately!

• Now, please excuse me, I'm off to Portland for Vida Vegan Con! See you next week! If I decide to return to this hell hole!

Laura Beck is a founding editor of Vegansaurus! and tweets at mrpenguino.
Follow SFoodie on Twitter: @SFoodie, and like us on Facebook.

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Laura Beck

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