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Monday, October 21, 2013

Beaux, A Fatally Generic Gay Bar, Now Open on Market Street

Posted By on Mon, Oct 21, 2013 at 1:30 PM

click to enlarge PETE KANE
  • Pete Kane

Considering that over the last couple of years, gay bars seem to be suffering from colony collapse disorder, we should probably be grateful that the long-shuttered Trigger didn't become a CVS or a Coldwell Banker.

See Also: Brass Tacks, the Former Marlena's, Gets Post-Gay on Hayes

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But Beaux, its replacement club, is just about the blandest thing to open in the Castro in some time. For starters, the layout is all wrong. There aren't nearly enough seats, resulting in a lot of dead space during happy hour as the refreshingly diverse crowd stands in clusters around the kiosk tables, and the centrality of the main bar -- of three -- makes the whole place an unsuitable venue for any sort of "night." (Does Beaux really need three bars? The place isn't that big. Take one out and build a proper dancefloor.) However, Heklina will be hosting a Halloween Costume Contest, and that's a strong plus.

click to enlarge PETE KANE
  • Pete Kane

Otherwise, this place could have been cut and pasted from West Hollywood and driven north on 101 wholly intact. The rotating, lightly kaleidoscopic projections on the wall are as visually uninteresting as they are dated, and of course, some 60 percent of the bottles displayed behind the bar are vodka. At least the staff is friendly (and highly attractive, for what it's worth). Otherwise, Beaux exudes an aura of "we chose to do the least we could do." No interesting cocktails, no kitchen, no trivia night, no actual reason for dropping in when there are a dozen other gay bars in the neighborhood, each with some kind of character.

The sign on the door encouraging people to be quiet and respectful of the neighbors urges patrons to "be a good Beaux," which isn't even grammatically correct. Good Beaux, indeed. And good luck with that.

Beaux, 2344 Market St.

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About The Author

Pete Kane

Pete Kane

Bio:
Pete Kane is a total gaylord who is trying to get to every national park before age 40

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