“Hair” came out today. No, you're not balding — it's the latest in that steady flow of new songs from the Lady Gaga camp, leading up to the release next week of Born This Way, the Queen Monster's second proper album. So far, you'll recall, we've been “Born This Way,” introduced to “Judas,” pushed to “The Edge of Glory,” and grown into “Hair.” (Well, not sure if we've grown into it, exactly — the song has been out for only a few hours, and so many of you are listening to it that the YouTube play counter seems to be broken, halted at a hilarious 307. This for a song that already has more than 13,000 likes … but anyway.)
Gaga is a confounding beast these days: If we can proceed on the seemingly not-too-controversial premise that “Bad Romance” is the high-water mark (in terms of style, catchiness, boundary-pushing, and mysterious allure, etc.), then it seems almost obvious that none of these new songs reaches it. (That, anyway, is our initial conclusion — with the dangers of premature evaluation hereby acknowledged.)
Risks aside, we thought that the occasion of a new Gaga tune warrants a quick run through the songs from Born This Way released so far. So, as your high school math teacher said, let us review — in ascending order of greatness, or some vaguely positive quality.