OK, fine. I’ve grown accustomed to the practice of San Francisco dive bars removing the locks from their bathroom doors. But now even some of the finer drinking establishments around town have had the gall to follow suit, banning bathroom doors that bolt. To wit: As I was on the verge of happiness, downing my third vodka rocks the other night at Otis, I decided to hit the bathroom. As I opened the restroom door, I found a stunned female patron sitting on the toilet, looking up at me in terror, mid-wipe. Whether she was tiding up after a gentle pee (or after making serious S-shapes) is up for debate. What I do know — after my very quick glance — was that she was also sporting a most awesome pair of all-black wedges. But as far as my freshly scorched corneas were concerned, her dainty hand up her crotch trumped any of her other fashion choices that night. Very sad.
Anyway, this is unacceptable, no matter the reason. Speaking of which, just what is the reason for the disappearance of bathroom door locks? To stave off blowjobs and/or blowing rails? If anyone knows, let us in on it.
—By Brock Keeling