Hollywood Death Metal

You probably didn't watch On the Lot last night, because that show sucks, so you surely missed the last film about alcoholism and death with the ridiculous name Edge on the End and the laborious, pronoun-sick catchphrase, repeated till we nearly puked all over our TV tables, “The moment you lose someone you love can be the moment you decide to lose yourself.” It looked and sounded like a really bad music video by Tool circa 1990 (the music here came from Revel), and all the tramping around in the stark, snowy landscape, which looked a little too much like a national park, made us pine, longingly, for those who can really do wicked cold despair: Scandinavian death metalists.

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