Boxing Bootcamp Day 876,234 (10) — Half-Heartedly Apologizing for the Penis Jokes

Dear readers who e-mailed suggesting that I waste their time when I write about getting punched in the nuts:

Specifically, I'd like to address this letter I received from a reader we'll call “My Mom.” It went like this:

Why can't you just write about the health aspect of your routine? I have no doubt that other things happened yesterday besides the sparring you vaguely outlined. Why not try to educate people about how to get in shape? I imagine there are one or two health conscious or potentially health conscious individuals in San Francisco who might rather read about health than your sore private parts. Also, why do you have to swear so much?

To that, I'd like to respond: What the hell do you expect? Have you read this publication? This week, we featured a story written by a track bike in our news section. And this is on our “news and politics” blog. It's a god damn free for all! The week I started, I was given an official style-sheet from The Powers That Be, and it said:

There are no rules, except:

“Punched in balls” = good headline.

“Paris Hilton” = good headline.

“Get in shape fast” = bad headline.

You have been warned.

How can I go against that kind of directive? My bosses want juvenile humor, so that's what I provide. And fart jokes are next on the agenda. Remember: This is Village Voice Media's world, folks; I only box in it. Now to more important business.

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