We at The Snitch had best come clean on something to start off: You can count us among those who sometimes wish a meteor would crash directly into Dolores Park on a Saturday afternoon, annihilating at a stroke every fixed-gear bicycle, semi-ironic pug, and hipster guy or gal eating Bi-Rite ice cream purchased on their parents' credit card despoiling that otherwise pleasant piece of land.
As a study in prolonged adolescence and urban self-absorption, Dolores Park may be unsurpassed among gathering places nationwide. We've never walked by it without renewed belief in Jack Kerouac's assertion that hipsters are undermining American culture and dignity. That said, there are plenty of folks out there who feel otherwise. Since news that Dolores Park is slated for temporary closure and renovation broke last week on Uptown Almanac, the laments from sundry park-goers have been coming hard and fast — in cyberspace, at least.
Many an online commenter has boo-hooed the loss of his or her favorite Mission District fishbowl, and a Facebook group, at the time of this writing up to more than 300 members, has formed to protest the park's closure. Given the to-do, we wondered: Has the office of Supervisor Bevan Dufty, in whose district the park lies, been deluged with rat-tailed baristas and gals in gingham dresses demonstrating for the right to eat pot brownies in public?